i have two and a half year old boy.When do you think is THE right time to have a second baby.I am 28 years old

Question

Both me and my husband would love to have a second baby.But i feel that i might just end up feeling guilty that my first child would go through an emotional trauma of not being "THE centre of attraction" any more .I get just overwhelmed thinking about all these.

Answer 1

i would think right now, kids want to help mommy alot when they are 3 to 3 1/2 so you can have the best of both worlds if your son is about that age when you have another one, my oldest helped me with finding bottles and pacifiyers, getting a clean diaper and wipes for me, and he loved it he felt like such a big boy :)

Answer 2

You are 28, I have three children. I had two that are one year apart and the third is 6 years difference and is the youngest. Theya re 13, 12 and 7. I know you are dying to have one more. I would wait until your 2.5 year old can do a bit more like go to the bathroom alone, pour a drink of water, and brush his teeth. You will be overwhelmed when two kids need your assistance at once. I would say wait until he is 3 which is the bare minimum 4 would be better. You also want to include your son in helping with the baby and being a part of the new brother or sisters upbringing.



My two oldest they were 5 and 6 at the time, when my last one was born, they tried to help out with everything. Getting blankets singing to the baby,teaching him to talk trying to teach the baby to read and do math (lol). It is the cutest thing to watch when they are that little and interacting with their new brother. Makes for cute memories.Even as he got older they still wanted to make sure that he was ready for school :)

Answer 3

I would say to try now, my boys are 2 years apart and it is working out great! 2 and 4 years old. I was 27 and 29. I have heard that it is harder to recover from pregnancy / delivery when you are in your thirties. There will be some adjustments for your little guy, but it is going to have to happen sooner or later. If you don't have another baby at all, it will happen at school... he will discover then that he isn't the center of attraction, and it will hurt a whole lot more, than coming from his loving, understanding family... He'll be fine just make sure you still make a big deal out of him too, it won't be hard, he is your first! Good luck, also you never know how long it might take to get pregers... something else to think about.

Answer 4

Whenever you & your husband are ready.... your other child will adjust just fine, just be sure to continue to show him he's loved, and by making him feel 'needed' to help with the new baby is a good idea too. Having another child is like creating a lifetime best friend through good/bad for your other child, something no other friend can ever be - thats not a bad thing (even if at times they think they hate each other!)



PS- someday your child will have to realize that the 'real' world doesn't revolve around him anyway - He IS NOT going to be the center of attention forever in his life. Learning to share, love another, take turns & get along with others & know that his parents are capable of loving more people than just him -(etc) is a positive thing as well.

Answer 5

We had a second child 2 1/2 years after our first child was born. At first it was tough because of jealousy(still can be an issue sometimes) now they are always palling around together(usually a sign there is some kind of trouble coming). Your first child will adjust, the longer you put it off the harder it will be for your child to adjust. If you have them close together they don't remember life without their younger sibling and they will have their fights but they also become best buddies especially if they want to get in to trouble. But the decision is really up to you. The most we can do is give you some advice and share our experiences. I wouldn't have my kids any further apart than what they are now.

Answer 6

I had my second baby when my oldest was only 17 months old and I love it. It seems easier to me because while your older baby will be learning so many things, the younger one will just pick up on all of it and learn even faster because they have that little person to look up to. My kids do have their fights, but they love each other very much and they never get bored when their together.



I use to also wonder how I could love two babies the same and I was so afraid that I make a difference between the two or not love the second one as much, but once you have both of them in your life it is the most wonderful feeling ever. I love both of my babies just the same and they both know that.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

Honestly I have four and mine are close in sets

I had the first two 21 months apart and they are the best of friends, Oldest is a girl and then a boy

Second set I waited for 7 years and had another boy then a year later another girl, they get along great they all had the time they needed, and hada sibling they could play with. If anything the oldest was mad when I was expecting the younger two, she said she was too old to have a little sister and brother lol. she was 8 when her brother was born.

Answer 8

Actually, I have just about exactly 2 1/2 years between all 3 of my kids (and #4 on the way!) and I find that between 2-3 years is perfect. By this time your son is past the baby stage and is beginning to be more independent. He doesn't need mommy to do everything for him and he can start to entertain himself for longer periods of time. As well, at this stage they are very helpful and really like to do things for mommy and daddy like run and get a diaper for the baby, or pick up baby's rattle for them etc. They're also starting to realize that other people have feelings, so they won't be resentful of a baby crying to eat etc. In fact my son at 2 1/2 used to tell me what to do when my youngest cam along, if baby cried for even a minute he would come running to me to make sure I took care of the baby lol. Also your son should be through with the seperation anxiety phase, so if you have to stay in the hospital for a few days it won't be traumatizing to him to be left with the grandparents etc. SO far its worked out really well for my family to space them 2 1/2 years apart! Also, they are all good friends and really enjoy playing together!

Answer 9

well i have 5 kids and prego again. my kids are 8,7,almost 3, step son is 1 baby is almost 8 months and due on thanksgiving. my son loves his sister he loves being the big brother. he has been involved in everything including holding the dopler for the dr. to find sis heart beat and pumping the blood pressure cuff for the nurse. he came to the hospital and stayed with me for 8 hours. my sitter never showed up and my husband couldnt get the day off. he picked out clothes for her. they bathe together now and play with toys. she thinks he is the most funniest thing in the world. and when she is asleep or ocupied by her dad or big sisters i spend time with my son. sometimes just him and dad will go to the park together or he will be the only one to go to the store with me. so include him in everything. talk about how proud you are of him being a "big brother now" kids love attention.when you have a baby shower make sure to include a few gifts for him or invite a lot of friends and family that have kids his age to entertain him. i think all kids should have siblings.my son and middle daughter fight all the time. they are 4 yrs apart dont wait to long or else he might find the baby to be a threat he is an only child and has been for awhile. its a big ajustment but at this age its a great time.i to am 28

Answer 10

Don't feel bad or have sympathy for the boy for not being the "center of attention" Trust me I have 4 sisters and you will see that maybe he will get the attention later in life!

I think that my baby sister is the one who has been grabbing all the attention since well, she entered this place called earth! But yes if you and your hubby are ready for this next step in life, go for it. We are going through the same thing. My boy is 2 and I do not want my kids to far apart! And you will know when you are ready, NO one else! GOod luck and God Bless!

Answer 11

A second child is a big step. As to when you should have one, there are pros and cons to having 2 children close in age and 2 children distant in age. There is 7 years between my first and second child and 2 years between my second and third child. There is a lot less sibling rivalry between the first two, but they are not real close as adults. As children there was a LOT of sibling rivalry between the next two, but they remain close now as adults, though there is still some rivalry. You just need to decide what you want in your family structure and base your decision accordingly.

Answer 12

now is ok to have another kids just try to spend alot of time with the first born my cousin just turned 30 and has two kids under the age of six. a 4 year old boy and 6 year old and the daughter not jelous of the brother and they get equal amount of attention

Answer 13

in my oppinion you should start trying now cause whos to say that youll get pregnant right away it might take another year before you get pregnant again my daghter is 2 almost three i just had my second child four months ago she was a little jelous at first but she trys to take care of her now always wants to hold her with mommys help of course so its really up to u when u think its best

i really hope this helps you and good luck

Answer 14

I think that whenever you want to is ok. Your 2.5 yr old would not like it at first, but once the baby got old enough to play with him, I think he would like the idea of having someone to play with all the time. It also teaches him to give up some of his attention and share with his sibling. It's a good learning experience for him.

Answer 15

Have a baby now....prepare your child by letting him get involved as soon as you know you are pregnant like decorating the babies room etc. and talk to your child about "helping" with the new baby when it arrives. Make it where he feels important. He will be okay with it!

Answer 16

Anytime is good, but you got to prepare your child for the newborn. Even if you wait till he's older, he would still get jealous of his new sibling. I think it's good to give him a brother/sister so that he would grow up faster.

Answer 17

It's okay...my brother and I are only 1 year and 4 days apart...I never went through that. Just give him his own time besides that new baby...Just you and your son. You could have one now if u wanted to

Answer 18

When ever YOU are ready is the best time. Your son will adjust, and there are pros and cons either way. I will say that with mine, the older kids took the "new baby" news a lot harder, but then, once she was here, they adjusted quicker.

Answer 19

have a baby when ever you want, two is a great age and he wont feel left out he will be very exited to be older than somebody and will constantly be asking if he can help with the baby:)

Answer 20

when you are ready your child will be ready, you never know how long it wil take to conceive, children have adapted to siblings for years and your child will be fine! If you are ready I would say start trying! Good Luck!

Answer 21

He will be fine. That was how old my bro was when i was born... he grew up to be a great guy, so perfect.. im not even joking. You could have a kid now, and your oldest child will be fine.

Answer 22

Maybe 31.