Question:
Is it ok to take toys away from 2 and 3 year old as discipline if timeouts are not effective?
Becky S
2008-03-31 21:56:32 UTC
I decided to take my girls toys away from them as punishment and they had to earn them back.. But I was told after the fact that that is one of the worst things you can do.... Timeouts are not effective at all with them is what I did ok?? If not then what do I do please help I fell like I have lost all control???
Twelve answers:
olschoolmom
2008-04-04 00:26:00 UTC
I'd try a swat across the bottom, or a spanking. I've always said at these young ages, time outs and spanking tends to work the best.
2008-03-31 22:04:57 UTC
As a discipline measure, what else do they suggest you do?

Children must be taught that banned behavior has a consequence. Losing a favorite toy for a time period is much better than spanking, I think.

My daughter who teaches/evaluates special children has a safe place in her classroom. It is a niche behind a desk (visible to her and the aide) where the kids can go to escape for a while. If you had a timeout area with 1(only 1, that remains the same ) toy like this it might help.
Misty
2008-03-31 23:16:51 UTC
I take toys away from me 3 year old son, and have since he was about 2. I usually take them away if he throws them ( we are having a problem with this ) or if I ask him to put it in his room and he looks at me and says NO, then that toy is taken away for the rest of the day.

I also use timeout for some behavior, or a swat on the butt.
xtecea80
2008-03-31 22:10:30 UTC
If they are fight over toys throwing or hitting with them then I would for 10-15 min at a time until they say sorry. It is the same thing as me taking my kids toys tv's and video games and they are 7 and 10. If they are fighting outside then bring them in. That 1 min for each year they are didn't work for me but that 10-15 min at a time did. If they are screaming at you then get down to thier level and tell them you will listen when they can talk instead of yelling and all the while make sure they no you love them and are not trying to be mean but certain behavor will not be tolerated. It might sound mean but you have to start young or they will think it's fine later.
2008-03-31 22:05:21 UTC
depends on what theyr doin. if the behavior is just annoying, ie. whining, bickering between themselves, i would suggest timeout from everything, including toys, cartoons, and yes each other. sit them on totally diff areas, diff rooms if neccesary. if the behavior is totally unacceptable, make sure they know what theyve done wrong before the timeout begins. i was always told one minute of time out for every yr old they are, but since you have two close in age id go with a standard 5 minutes. if this approach still doesnt work i see nothing wrong with them earning their priveliges back, but dont expect this to work overnight. theyr very young.
tamrn02
2008-03-31 22:02:26 UTC
Let the punishment fit the crime. If they were playing with toys by hitting for example then taking toys away is a proper punishment, but try to be creative in letting the punishment be related to the crime. I agree, just taking things away does not work. Reward Reward Reward for good behavior, most of us (me included) forget to do this. Everyday you should think of something to say to your kids that they did RIGHT. They will slowly but surely get the Right vs. Wrong factor. THEN they are teens and lose their minds!!!!!!!
Abbey
2008-03-31 22:01:33 UTC
I do this with my child but he is 4. We work on the idea that he has to earn certain privileges and certain behavior can get privileges taken away. I'm not sure if a 2 year old will get this concept but it is certainly effective in our case, and also teaches responsible behavior.



Perhaps, if you approach the idea to the 2-year-old from a more basic standpoint, it can be effective.
crystal
2008-03-31 22:00:45 UTC
Oh absolutely!!! This really works!

I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old!

I have to do this all the time!

Smacking their hands and putting

them in the corner only works for so

long...



Your doing a great job..dont worry.

When you tell them you are going to

take their toys away, really do it!

Start with one they like but that isnt

their favorite...if they do it again, take

the favorite...they'll learn quick. make

them earn it back too..dont just give in

and give it back.



Good luck with everything and have a wonderful day!



♥Crystal
Lindsey
2008-03-31 22:00:24 UTC
I wouldn't associate toys with doing things wrong. They should have time out, or another form of effective discipline. I am for spanking, but I know many are not....Spanking as described by my human development professor is the lowest form of communication, which is necessary until you can effectively communicate with your child and have their respect.
smarty pants
2008-03-31 22:16:53 UTC
Just remember who is the parent. Watch the Nanny 911. She shows some very good methods.
2008-03-31 22:53:37 UTC
...wondering in what way the time outs are not effective? I am a faoter parent to three kids ages 7, 5 and 4. when they screw up, they get marched to the corner. I know a lot of people say "One minute for every year of age"....

this is a load of crap, especially for kids who don't care about being in the corner. The middle child HATES being in the corner; pitches fits. I tell her the moment she quits screaming, her time begins. The youngest cries like HE has suffered injustice for recieving concequence for his actions...same deal. The eldest has pretty much caught on but once in a while, thinks he can be mentally belligerant and glare his way out of trouble, sometimes he will pitch a fit....same deal.

And they each get ten minutes in the corner, hands clasped behind thier backs, posture upright and correct. The moment they quit trying to be the Alpha, the ten minutes starts. I have no issue taking away thier toys..I paid for them! I have no issue unplugging the television..I paid for it and the sattelite service thay enjoy. These things are Priveledges, not absolute rights. If they want to behave like uncivilized pigs, they lose priveledges.

If they really push the rules and the corner seems to have little effect, they get to sit on the stairs, half way up and within sight of me on the couch. No toys. No talking. NO playing. They sit there for 20 minutes, no if's and's or but's. If they will NOT stop pitching a fit at that point, they get to go to bed and stay there til they stop pitching, then they do thier 10 in the corner and get no treats for the day...that is, no sweet snacks, no dessert after dinner. It has taken two years for them to get to a point where they understand allllll my rules and get the point of being in the corner; understanding that the corner is the least of the punishments. I assume your girls are at least three....this was the point at which the youngest started getting the full ten minutes. He used to try to walk away, hit me, ect ect....I resorted to holding him in place while he screamed; told him three times themoment he stops pitching the ten minutes begins. They all get it now. the point is CONSISTANCY. I love them fiercely..I have to FORCE myself to turn my heart to stone, and I do mean cold, unfeeling stone because I know they are not to blame for thier problems.

You may want to try the corner with your girls from the Get Go, no taking away of toys, no scolding...the moment they show thier butts to your authority, into the corner they go. Be OBDURATE as stone...you pay for EVERYTHING they have and they are going to treat you this way?!?!?! Hell No!

Start with the ten minutes; it starte the moment they stop pitching a fit. Be FIRM...HOLD TO TRUTH IN SENTANCING or they won't care about your rules. If they commint more than three infractions in a day, they get 15-20 on the stairs and no dessert / sweet snacks. The eldest of mine tried snubbing lunch a few times in an attempt to "show me"....and then complained of being hungry later. Too Bad. Shoulda eaten your luch, mister. No snacks. NO dessert. You should have seen him go after his dinner...half ration of seconds. you HAVE TO BE firm, the Wicked ***** of the West. The only way your children will respect your authority is if you are absolute in it. If they they throw a toy, they just lost it for the rest of the day, maybe two. If they hit you, they automatically get the stairs. Don't listen to the bleeding heart buttheads who said they would never do to thier kids what thier parents did to them *unless it was out and out abusive* because it is likely the ONE reason why thier children are running the house. YOU are the parent. This means there are time where you will have to be the biggest A*s hole on earth and lay down the law in no uncertain terms. It's like Mr. Miagi said:

Do Karate yes, Ok. Do karate no, Ok Do Karate So-So, get Squished, just like grape
2008-03-31 22:00:42 UTC
perfectly fine.. why wouldnt it be right.. your the parent you have to have some sense of control. dont you? show them that they have to follow the rules.. or they wont have the life skills in the long run.. trust me a good thing... ecspecially the 'earning them back' thing.. i might have to try that one myself..


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