Question:
i'm worried about my grandson. his father is violent and fighting for custody. what do i do?
r_l_h_959
2006-03-12 21:18:08 UTC
my daughter had custody. the father of my grandson lied and got custody. my daughter just wants to get along and do what's best for my grandson. the father was violent toward my daughter. she has said he can have custody. she wants visitation though. it took a contempt order filed against him to get her ex to "let" her see my grandson. my family and daughter did not see my grandson for over 6 months. when we finally did last weekend he clung to his mom and was scared. he does not look like a happy 3 year old. he looks full of fear. my daughter wants to do the right thing but my grandson's father just wants to hurt my daughter. i don't know what to do. my daughter thinks that my grandson's father would never do anything to harm my grandson. i have my doubts especially after seeing what a scared little 3 year old boy he was last week end. what do i do. please send prayers and blessings their way. thank you
Four answers:
Nicholle
2006-03-13 08:39:55 UTC
First, Check out your states grandparents rights laws, yes grandparents do have rights, they are usually unaware of them because they do not ask the proper authorities or the right questions. This could help you get visitation as well as give you time to see how the child really behaves when he gets used to you.



Second, definitely call childrens services so they can investigate the home and the father. If this man has a history of violence you should also begin to gather your evidence- times dates police reports restraining orders etc. whatever kind of paper trail you have to document his abuse reflects on his character and his suitabliity as a parent.



Third, your daughter must try to establish more contact with her child, does he attend preschool? she should visit or volunteer as a room mother an hour a week or something. Is he in any childrens classes - kindermusic or gymboree for example? she should accompany him to these classes. She has to get involved in his life. Call him and talk on the phone for a few minutes each day. She has to prove that she is determined to be a part of his life to reestablish the relationship and her rights as the noncustodial parent.This means she must have all her ducks in a row regarding her parenting ability, housing, child care, and her surroundings and activities. She has to basically present her self as an involved, caring, loving parent if thats what she wants to be.



Finally, talk to the officer at juvenile court - or whoever assigned custody and see what recourse she has to appeal her decision, based on her suspicion of abuse, and the fact that he lied.



Do not give up, the stake of this childs life and future is not something to take lightly.
Miss D
2006-03-12 23:30:04 UTC
Even though it's a bad situation for you, your daughter made a decision and agreed to give up her custody. I can't imagine why the father would fight so hard to get custody if he didn't truly want to take care of the child. The child is pretty young, so I wouldn't automatically assume that he is being abused because he was being clingy. Keep in mind that this is probably a very stressful time for him, too. Just try to make your time with him as happy as possible. Take him on little daytrips and make it memorable. Maybe when things calm down, visitation will be easier to negotiate. I wish you and your family all the best!
Why's the rum gone? ☺☮♥ ツ♫
2006-03-12 22:59:08 UTC
IF you have the means to do so, hire a private investigator. Then when you have any shred of evidence, take the father back to the courts and get that child away from the father. Another thing that can be done is to call your local social services dept. They HAVE to investigate every accusation made even though sometimes it is a false accusation! My heart and prayers and best wishes for all of you! But especially that little 3 year old innocent child!
beautifullittlemommy
2006-03-13 07:12:31 UTC
PRAY THAT GOD WILL PLACE HIM BACK WITH DAUGHTER AND THAT HE WILL DO WHATS IN HIS PLAN FOR YOR GRANDSON. GOD IS MIGHTY AND HE HEARS EVERYONE OF YOUR CRYS DON'T BE SCARED CRY OUT UNTO HIM HE WILL HELP TRUST I AM A STRONG BELIEVER IN GOD AND SO IS MY WHOLE FAMILY AND PRAY FOR ONE ANOTHER MY COUSINS ARE I FORSTER CARE AND WE AHEV PRAYED FOR GOD TO SEND THEM BACK HOME TO US AND THEY ARE COMING HOME IN MAY WHEN SCHOOL LETS OUT!!!! THATS SO WONDERFUL.JUST PRAY EVERYDAY GOD WILL HEAR I'LL PRAY FOR YOU HAS WILL..MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY...I WISH YOU ALL THE BLESSINGS AND THE BEST THROUGHT GOD THAT HE WILL FILL YOUR HEARTS WITH LOVE OF YOUR GRANDSON AND THAT HE'LL BE BACK HOME SOON I WISH YOU THE BEST AND REMEMBER ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PRAY ALWAYS SAY A PRAY FOR YOUR GRANDSON TO COME HOME DON'T LET A DAYGO BY THAT YOU DON'T PRAY STAND STRONG IN GOD WHEN WE ARE WEAK HE IS THERE TO HELP US THROUGHT IT ALL...


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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