2 year old is not an angel anymore?

Question

She was an angel (which I appreciated). Now she screams at me most of the day, shouts, hits, bites, thows very long tantrums, whines and cries. She has everything, friends, playgroups, nursery, plenty of toys, classes, mummy's attention. Ive tried everything, techniques, managing misbehaviour, done courses on how to deal with toddlers, read books, seen a 'professional'. Nothing works. She is not ill either.

She is making my life hell. Im calm most of the time but am losing it. She has drained my energy. Ive been shouting at her lately.Im starting to think my beautiful angel might be better off without me because Im a rubbish mum.

Has anyone been through the same?

Answer 1

Well shes a 2 year old and that age's nickname is the Terrible Two's. My little cousin was absolutly horrible but just keep showing her that what shes doing is wrong. she may laugh and keep doing what she was doing but punish her more if that happens. she'll grow out of it trust me, you're not being a bad mother its just natural for 2 year olds to misbehave.

Answer 2

This is so normal 2 year old behavior. However if you discipline correctly it will all be over by the time she turns 3 and things will get better. The fact of the matter is that she needs to learn that the world does not revolve around her (that is why she does not get candy right before supper) and that she cannot have her way all the time. She is screaming "I demand to be the center of attention and I want what I want now!" You have to learn to give her the opposite of those things or she will be demanding the above from now till' she moves out. Say "no" more and yes only when it makes sense. If she wants you to give her a drink this instant while you are using the potty tell her she will have to wait until you are done. She won't like it and that is okay. If everything you do is based on her and her alone then you need to get your own life, separate from her, so that she can learn to deal with not being the center of the world. I'm not saying don't care for her needs and such, since that is your job as a parent. I'm just saying allow her to learn to play alone while you read a book or do something you like (except watching TV, show her there is more to life that TV please). You could scrapbook or something like that. If you want to explain something to a 2 year old, be my guest but it is likely she will not get a word of it and move on to the next thing that gets on your nerves. Better thing to do would be when she screams, put her in the bathroom and close the door. She can open it whenever she wants, if she is done screaming allow her to come out. If not put her back in, repeat until she gets it. After screaming is over say in as little words as possible "the bathroom is your screaming place." That is where she will go to scream, pitch fits, go to the bathroom, pick her nose (later) and play with her genitals (later she will start this and that is normal, but it is not something you want her to do say in the living room floor in front of the in-laws). You need to teach her where to go now to do personal things like all the above. She has not turned on you, you just have not developed the backbone yet to raise a 2 year old. So get over the praise, praise, praise and begin to discipline, discipline, discipline.

Answer 3

Forget the parenting self help books and start watching the dog whisperer. Set a boundary and stick to it. Enforce the discipline consistently.



Yelling at your child doesn't make you a bad mother. Yelling at your child over nothing because you're in a bad mood or beating her does. So unless you are screaming at her for nothing and beating the snot out of her, ease up.



There's Kool-Aid at the hospital that convinces women that we are to be patient, loving and calm in the face of all things parenting. We won't ever lose our tempers because our children are such angels, such blessings to our lives that if we say boo to them or even attempt to do anything for ourselves that we are bad people.



Reality check: Most toddlers would try the patience of a saint. The incessant whining, nagging, never being able to go to the bathroom by yourself, and for a lot of moms going to work on top of it. You're going to run out of patience, you're going to eventually shout at your kids if you can't manage it.



Your daughter is at an age where she is going to be exploring and testing boundaries you haven't put down for her yet. My advice is to put the breakables up at least 5' off the floor, hide the sharp things and stuff that will make a mess (like baking soda) and learn to pick your battles. Is she going to die from opening the drawers in the kitchen and looking at the pots and pans? Most likely not, so let it go. Will something bad happen if she puts her hand on the stove? Yes, flip out about that.



Good solution for tantrums: Ignore them. If she wants to have a tantrum let her have it in her room, by herself. She is plenty old enough to go into time out for hitting, biting, shouting and other behavior.



No offense intended but your daughter sounds terribly spoiled. In your efforts to be the best mom ever it sounds like she has everything she could want and no appreciation for any of it.



Good luck. Three is worse than two. :P

Answer 4

She's two!!! Two year olds are going through a rough time... they know what they want but they don't always have the words to say what they want and if they do they tend to hear, "NO" a lot and that's frustrating:) I have a two year old, he hasn't been an "angel" since he started crawling... and I don't want or expect him to be. He is curious, persistent, intelligent, sneaky, tenacious, spirited, active, playful, and tons of fun and he also has some of the most spectacular tantrums ever! Get her busy, make sure she has time to rest, snuggle with her when she's upset. Figure out what the causes of the tantrums are: tired? hungry? bored? over-stimulated? other? Show her ways to handle her big emotions (because toddlers have VERY big emotions!)... clapping her hands, stomping her feet, running in circles, etc. Give her some power in her life, let her pick out her clothes and what she'd like for breakfast, let her see you doing work and let her join in (my son loves to load the washing machine and then help put clothes from the washer to the dryer, he loves to bake and "wash" dishes, too). Throw the books out, throw the "experts" out, throw the courses out... get down on your daughter's level and see the world through her eyes--- if you were two what would life be like? Would you be being told, NO! all day? Would you be told what to do and when to do it all day? Wouldn't it be frustrating to have an adult who doesn't always understand or who is always dismissing your wants and needs? Maybe you need to back off the playgroups and nursery if that's been an all day, every day thing and get back to the simpler things... go outside and jump in leaves, take her for a walk and stop every time she stops and look at what she's looking at and talk about it--- yup, it'll take about four times as long to get to where you are going so don't make the goal getting there, make the goal getting to know your child and what interests her. Remind yourself that this too shall pass, and soon she'll be on to the next phase in her life and "making your life hell" in other ways:) It's a cycle and it keeps going. Get some time for yourself, too... I'm a single mom and I totally admit to letting my son watch Caillou on Netflix from his high chair while I shower in silence. Kids don't need to be micromanaged, they need some understanding and respect for how hard life can be for *them* as well... this teaches them caring and respect for others.

Answer 5

My daughter is two a million/2 and he or she nevertheless gets a 2 hr nap on a daily basis. Her bedtime is at 9 pm and he or she gets up approximately 7:15 am. Mine desires her nap and that i make her take one. My very own concept is that toddlers choose a sleep till they're 4 yrs previous. yet while she continues to be up at a million am, i don't comprehend. on occasion youngsters will combat sleep while they're very drained. They get a 2d wind and shop on going. i does not tolerate staying up that previous due. We positioned ours to mattress at 9 pm sharp and he or she is familiar with it quite is time for mattress. She does not combat it b/c she's used to a similar recurring each and every night. If she have been mine, i might make her lie in mattress with the lighting fixtures furnishings off and close her eyes. provide her a cup of warmth milk and study her a e book. turn off the song, television and lighting fixtures furnishings. Make the abode quiet for her.

Answer 6

We all behave in ways to get what we need. If I need something to eat, I'll go to the kitchen and make myself some food. If I need some order in my life, I'll clean my house. If I need a renewed sense of community, I'll turn on my sociability as I make an effort to connect with friends and neighbors. If I 'm feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated, I might subconsciously distance myself from others as I attempt to carve out some alone time for myself (if I don't realize what I need), or I might just say, "Hey, I need some alone time," (if I do).



Kids aren't as astute at knowing how to meet their needs as we grownups are. Sometimes even we don't behave in the most appropriate ways to get what we need. A child is much less capable of identifying and articulating what they need, and instead they reach out through their behavior. What looks like "misbehavior" is actually a child's misguided attempt to fulfill a need that's not being met.



As any parent knows, hunger and sleep are two of the most common needs that, when unmet, trigger all kinds of "colorful" behaviors in children. Other needs children have that they will work at meeting are:



- Empathy; children need validation and acceptance of their thoughts and feelings

- Belonging; children need to know that they matter and that they have an importance place in the family

- Autonomy; children need to have choices and independence

- Connection; children need to be heard and understood



The most common "misbehaviors" we see in our children are most likely the result of one of those needs not being met.

. Toddlers are biologically programmed to PLAY and to EXPLORE. Both are crucial in toddlerhood. Don't squelch your little one's curiosity, but instead provide a safe place for her to explore and begin teaching her what is off-limits through language, play, and empathetic limit-setting.



2. Don't mistake independence for defiance. Some toddlers are more strong-willed and independent than others. My first son was very mellow and content under my wing, while my second wanted independence early. He doesn't want to hold my hand in parking lots (we'll address that one!) because he says "I can walk by myself!"



3. Develop a habit of seeing through your toddler's eyes. From your perspective, you're using your stern voice and redirecting him when he goes for the outlet. From his perspective, he's learning cause and effect. "Every time I go near this thing, mommy changes her voice, jumps up, and scoops me away! How fun!" So, his smile as he heads toward the outlet again isn't defiance, it's a game. "You silly boy! You like for me to chase you! Outlets are dangerous, OUCH! You'd better run that way, I'm going to get you!!" Giggles!



3. Here's a tip. Save your "danger voice" for the biggies. The average toddler hears the word "no" an astonishing 400 times a day, according to experts. If you use a big voice or yell out often, or use "no" a lot, this will soon lose effect. Your child may not be able to tell the difference between "NO! Stove hot!" and "NO! No cookie!" All she hears is "NO!" and if she hears it often, it doesn't signal danger. Consider using "no" infrequently (Check out How to Say No Without Saying No), and use different words for actual danger, such as "DANGER!" or "STOP!" which are more likely to catch your child's attention.

Answer 7

going through this right now with my almost 3 year old, but every child goes through this and it's best just to walk away while they throw there tantrums, once they see your not interested in there "fits" it stops faster, i think they like the reaction you give them

Answer 8

Somebody is going to say this sooner or later - so it might as well be me.



Whup that bottom.

Answer 9

I feel exactly the same!! she is driving me crazy!!!! Just want to hang her up, lol :) Just ignore it... easier said than done!!!

Answer 10

I feel your pain and would like to tell you it will get better soon -- but it won't :-(



Buckle up!