Does anyone have any advice for my daughter who hates going to pre-k because she hates naptime?

Question

My daughter started pre-k last week. She did fine the first couple of days but then she started crying and saying she didn't want to go to school. When we asked why she tells us b/c she doesn't like naptime. She starts crying before she goes to bed at night and she starts again when she wakes up. I have to take her to school while she is screaming and then the teacher has to pull her off of me so I can leave. The teacher told me that she calms down within about 5 minutes after I leave and that she is doing fine during the day. She has also told me that she isn't even crying at naptime anymore. The crying in the morning is starting to get to me as well. After I come home from leaving her I am sick for the next few hours. I hate having the feeling that I am abandoning her. The teacher won't let her take any kind of teddy bear or anything to class with her and I don't know if it would help anyway. She is used to going to sleep with me or her daddy laying beside her. Any advice?

Answer 1

let it go. she needs to grow up.

Answer 2

It probably has nothing to do with naptime and more to do with the fact that she's missing you, but time will help her. If it's worrying you try talking to the teacher and see what she recommends. My mother told me that she bought me a little mat and on days I wasn't at school I'd take my naps/quiet time on my mat, which was essentially the same mat as school. It helped the transition, and you can find them at Dollar General, Target, etc. You do want to start weaning her away from you and Daddy, though. I let my daughter sleep with me only if she had a bad nightmare or it's stormy out, but I'll carry her back to bed and she knows it. I think this is a start as far as giving your kid more space to grow, and I've noticed that my kid doesn't cry when I have to leave her anymore, partly because she's used to us being apart sometimes.



Note: I just reread your question and I noticed you said your daughter needs you by her, not she sleeps with you. That's not as bad, but it's still a bad habit that should be discontinued. Try making the times you lay with her shorter, and have her read quietly when you leave until she falls asleep. Or try a routine: after story time you sing a good night song, hug/kiss, then say good night and leave. After a while she'll get used to it. I promise!

Answer 3

Let it go. She should be sleeping on her own at home, too. If you're that concerned, ask the teacher if you can drop by halfway through naptime and see if your daughter is asleep. That should assure you that your daughter is fine and that she doesn't need someone laying next to her for her to fall asleep. She's got you wrapped around her finger. Stop laying with her at bedtime, too--she's old enough to put herself to sleep. Since you waited so long, it'll be hard for you to hear her cry, but it should only take a week or so. Trust the teacher. Chances are, she's been doing it for awhile. Teddy bears harbor germs and can't be easily cleaned. Trust me, you don't want the bear at school with your daughter. If your daughter is fine when you pick her up, then you know she's playing you like a fiddle. Suck it up and let her go--bedtime included. Part of being a good parent is knowing when to let go.

Answer 4

My son had the same problem with nap time in Pre-K, he just was not a napper and if he did take a nap in the afternoon he would be up until midnight. I talked to the teacher and he was allowed quiet time instead of napping. Maybe she could look at a book when it is nap time. I don't think it's because she is not with you or her dad because children adapt to their environment. She will get used to the idea that at the nursery she needs to do things a certain way.

Don't feel guilty about leaving her remember I have been teaching for many years and from experience the kids are usually fine by the time mom reaches her car. It's good for them to learn independence.

Answer 5

Your child is being nurtered at bedtime to go to sleep, you are not encouraging independence by laying with her. I am all for keeping our children close by and therefore disagree with pre school which is just re inforcing her insecurities. Bedtime should be a loving time for your sweet one but you must leave the room before she falls asleep. No matter how many times it will take.If you insiste on pre school then i a sure it will improve if the bedtime routine is more succesful. Best wishes

Answer 6

I know it breaks your heart, but she needs to deal with it. Unless they are being mean to her at school then there is nothing to worry about. She is going to have to deal with alot of things she doesnt like. I suggest she starts going to bed at night without you guys sleeping with her. That was a bad habit to get in to. Nothing is going to hurt her and a nap sure wont either. Every preschool has a naptime, and she needs to go, so she needs to get over it one way or another. I'm not trying to sound rude by this, but I dont know how else to say it...she needs to not be babied so much.

Answer 7

Does she have a favorite animal or doll she sleeps with at night? I don't blame her for not wanting to take a nap at school. With all her friends around and all the fun stuff to do. Maybe if she brought her fave animal or doll with her and possible a bottle for the animal in case it gets hungry during nap time. I would make sure I told her that she didn't actually have to go to sleep just lay there and rest and take care of her animal/doll.

Answer 8

Most young children need some sort of a "rest" in the middle of the day, especially if they are very active mentally and physically, which is what pre-K provides. Be supportive of her and tell her you understand that adjusting to a different schedule can be hard but you know she's getting to be a big girl and going to school and that you are proud of her and proud that she is making an effort to adjust to this new situation.

P.S. You may seriously want to start to ween her from you and her father falling asleep with her in the evening. My daughter is 11 and I had to go to a sleep clinic and all kinds of things to finally ween her and it was just a pyschological dependency on us which spiraled out of control (she eventually wouldn't go into other rooms without someone being in it, wouldn't take a shower without me in the bathroom with her, won't go on a different floor of the house without someone on that floor with her, all kinds of dependency issues that we are still working on). Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 9

I would talk to the teacher about laying next to her during nap time or making her go to bed at night with out anyone laying next to her. Talk to her about why she doesn't like nap time. See if she is maybe having a bad dream or something. I would just see what you can do in that respect. Things will get better...I was in the same boat with my nephew when i dropped him off a preschool...he hated it that i would leave him there and he started acting out and wouldn't take a nap...Time will be the best thing i think...good luck

Answer 10

The undesirable little woman is 3 and he or she's depressing and individuals are telling you to make her "difficult it out". How unhappy. She can no longer undergo in ideas next year which you pulled her out of pre-college. maximum young little ones do no longer undergo in ideas what they did while they have been 3. i understand I beneficial as heck do no longer. Why can we make young little ones difficult it out each and all of the time. If we've been in a activity we hated we does not sit down there and confusing it out if we could exchange jobs and we are adults who're socially mature (or are meant to be) *grin* in case you think of she might desire to objective yet another one, choose for it. in any different case, possibly she's bored with it and purely does not choose to bypass anymore. My dd went 12 months and then failed to choose to bypass the subsequent. We did no longer hassle approximately it.

Answer 11

You have spoiled this child rotten. She's old enough to sleep by herself; and you are old enough to take her to school, without the guilt feelings. This child has to grow up. She has to be socialized, so she can function in school. You and your husband are handicapping her, with your over indulgence and you need to stop it! The teacher has told you that the child does fine when you leave. That should tell you something. The child is manipulating you into getting her way, which means that at 4 years old, she's smarter than you!

Answer 12

she goes to sleep and one of you have to be there laying by her side?????? It's time for you to break this habit, don't treat her like a baby, she needs to be more independent and grow up. I know is hard to see our kids growing but that's all part of life and what they need to become.

Answer 13

Stay strong... tough it out, and she'll get used to it. It will be difficult for both of you for a while, but its all part of the process.

Answer 14

Tell her to get used to it. Life is full of disappointments and you and daddy can't be there for all of them.