How much help do you get with your little one(s)?

Question

I was speaking to a friend of a friend at the weekend, and she has a baby close in age to my daughter (13 months) and I mentioned that my daughter has her MMR jab this week. This lady already knew my husband would be working away, and so asked 'who have you got coming to help you?' and went on to say that each time her daughter has had immunisations, or a cold, or a temperature, or has been a bit demanding, she has had her mum/aunt/sister/friend come to stay to help out. My husband works away a lot and even when he is here I do 99% of everything to do with my daughter and don't expect any help - she is my daughter, after all. But a lot of people have asked since she was born, who I have to help out when my husband is away. My step sister has a 19 month old and she works part-time, and if her little one has had a cold that week then she will send her to her grandmas at the weekend for her to help as she needs a break! I cannot imagine calling someone to ask them to have my daughter, or to come and 'help'. Now, if you have more than one child at home then I can fully understand but if you have just one then I don't see the need for it really, or am I just being pigheaded?? How much help do you get with your little one(s)? Do you wish you had more? Or do you wish you were left to get on with it more?

Answer 1

I am a single mum to my 3 children I have not had any help throughout their life from their father, grandparents, etc.......

I am so grateful for this, as if I had to rely upon another person every time I had a little prob such as illness, jabs... then I would just get used to it and need it all the time.



Stay strong you can do it alone, I always have and it has helped me to manage very stressful situations where most of my friends as yours in similar situations where they suddenly have no help, can not manage and do not manage.



I am so glad I was left to get on with it, it has made me a more able parent in the long run.

Answer 2

I have a 2 year old and my husband works quite a lot as well. I wouldn't say I get "help" but that I have support. If I have an appointment my Mom (who lives 2 houses away) will watch her. But I am the one who really does most of the parenting I do not think there is anything wrong with parents asking for help. Some parents need that support. Raising a child, in my opinion, is an important thing, and sometimes, difficult thing. The more people around to love and support your child the better!

Answer 3

My parents are retired. So generally (not always) they take my daughter for the day on Wednesdays. This gives them some good quality time with her and allows me to do some housework or just have some free time to myself. My daughter is pretty clingy to me so when we are around the grandparents she doesn't interact much with them if I am around, so this time is special for both of them.



Sometimes they will help out if I have a dentist appointment etc. But when she is sick I always take care of her. I wouldn't want them to get sick from her.



I will be having baby #2 at the end of March. After I recover, then we will likely have the children rotate. My daughter will spend one Wednesday with them and I will have the baby alone at home. And then the next week the opposite will be true. So I will stop having my child free days. But that is O.K. They have some health problems and dealing with an infant and 2 year old would be rather difficult on them.

Answer 4

My girls are 2 yrs apart and I took them alone to every appt they have ever had except the out of town ones. I did shots for both my kids on my own. If you have to have someone the nurse can help (like holding them down). My in laws moved here 3 yrs ago my kids were 4 and 6 then so since they moved I have had help but before that I did it all on my own, yes I am married but husband works an insane amount of hours. I also try not to over use my in laws so I still do most of it on my own. Its hard and I am tired but aren't all mothers with young kids?



I have a friend who has to have help from her mom for everything as well and I always think the same thing. But I guess to each their own. The way I see it they are my kids my responsibility.

Answer 5

I am with you on this one! I have three children, and my husband can be away for up to three months sometimes. I have a great network of friends and family, who I rely on for telephone support, and this works for me. I am their Mum, and I would see it as a cop out to send the kids away at the first sign of a sniffle or whatever.



I am hugely independent, and only if my kids where in danger of being 'neglected' would I call for help, like when I had a mega migraine and was literally blind!! that was the last time I can remember. A friend took the two smallest to hers to have teas and sleep over.

Answer 6

I think its bazaar that someone would come help when a lo is sick surely thats the time when they just need their mommy!! I get really bugged out when my in laws say "oh we'll take him and let you have a break" I dont need a break!! I love my son and he's not an effort to me, there are times when I have to leave him ie hair app or something like that but I miss him, i can understand a mom that has more than one child maybe has so much to do welcomes the help but I say if you can do alone thats best. x

Answer 7

Besides having a babysitter when we are working, it is totally up to my husband & I to take care of our little girl. The only other times I've asked for help was when we wanted a date night and my little sister came over to watch her while we went to dinner and a movie. But that's it and I'm glad it is that way. Sure there are days that I would like a break, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Answer 8

I wouldn't ask anyone else to care for my sick children or to go with me to get their shots. It's not that big of a deal. Yes, my husband will help out when he's here, but he works a lot. I have 4 kids and am expecting my 5th. I take them all with me a lot of the time. There's nothing wrong with getting a little help from time to time, but with only one child, I agree with you, it's just not really necessary.

Answer 9

I am a single mum to 4 children the 3 eldest go to their dads once a fortnight thats all the help i get as my mother died 1 month ago. I am a self sufficient mum always have always will been it would be nice to be able to chat or go out once in a while tho without children

Answer 10

I read your question with my mouth open and a perplexed look on my face. I agree with you. It is your child and you should be the one to take care of him/her. Grandma has already raised her kids and shouldn't have to raise more. My husband works long shifts and late nights and I don't have anyone come to help. Sure, it is nice to have a break once in a while, but not for trivial things like immunizations, a cold, etc. One of the biggest problems with our country these days is that people aren't willing to take responsibility for themselves and their actions. It's kind of sad.

Answer 11

I agree with you, I don't see the need for help in those situations. I wouldn't ask for any help if she's sick or having shots. I don't get any help, financial, emotional, or otherwise and I'm fine with that. I've got it covered. Some of us need a little more help than others, I'm glad she's able to get it.



I would and have asked for help when I'm truly ill though, not a cold, truly ill.

Answer 12

im a single mum of 5 year old twins and have been on my own since they were 7 weeks old (i left him) my mum lives nearby, so i get some help, but she has her own life so i cant expect her to be on beck and call! but i wish i had more!! when mine are ill, i take care of it myself, only if im sick i will ask for help! oh how nice it would be for them to go to grandmas for the weekend!! sonds like heaven lol

Answer 13

i don't need help to take my son to the doctor i jsut do it- I'm a grown up and handle my kid on my own. it's just the doctor or a cold or whatever. i'm one of 7 kids and i've been around it all too much. i certainly don't need help going to the doctor for myself. i certainly didn't have help giving birth to him so why would i need help taking him to the doctor? they jsut soundd lazy. those are simple things. that's like saying you need helo taking your kid to school



i feel if my son is sick that it's MY job to take care of him. it's my motherly instinct to take care of my sick child. once again it jsut soudnds like these people are lazy and bored