How do I stop my 4yr old from getting up at 5am?

Question

and STEALING ! ! I know it sounds as though I'm over reacting. But every morning at 5am, she is up and wandering around the house, helping herself to anything. I put things out of her reach, she puts anything she can find down to climb on. The latest is her tracing board, which has a plastic cover, I'm surprised it holds her without breaking. She does have a stair/safety gate over her door, but she know how to open it.
I've already been up 4 times this morning, get her back into her room. I'm now sat in the front room and all I can here is her moaning and not crying, but the crocodile tears sound. It's so frustrating.
She also has the most vile temper. She's not spoilt, and she is disciplined. To the point she has no toys in her room, as they've all been taken off of her (She's just crept along the hallway now, thinking I couldn't hear her). Yesterday, we found her writing on her white quilt in red ink ! She's drawn all over her toy box, broke most of her xmas presents, and constantly wees and poops herself. Her friends from reception class, say she's smells and is bossy. When I mention this to her, she actually says "I don't care I like being a baddie". I have 2 other children, 1 is 5 months, and I can't blame her behaviour on the baby, as she was like this before the baby was even thought of, and the older one is a dream (he's 6).
I've signed her up to start Rainbow's as soon as she's 5, I thought it might keep her occupied. Anyone any idea's?

Answer 1

OH, yes, you CAN blame the baby! It is a perfectly normal developmental phase for her to slip back into babyish behavior, including peeing and pooping on herself.



She sees that baby getting a LOT of attention, which is a natural occurrence because of the baby's needs, and you say your son,6, is a "dream"....so it is likely that you do not scold him very much...in her eyes, negative attention is better than NO attention at all.



Yes, Mum, she DOES like being a baddie right now, because Mum is beside herself over it. You probably feel like strangling her, but I would encourage you to hold your tongue if you can, and perhaps have a friend or a sitter come in, and take little miss baddie for an outing, just the two of you....



Perhaps go window shopping, or even just run errands, but take her to lunch, spend some time talking and really, really listening to her. She is the middle child, not the well-behaved older one, not the sweet, little fussed-over baby.



Some children are just difficult by nature, they don't mean to be...they are just "prickly" and this little duckling needs some attention from her Mum. If you could manage to carve out 15 minutes a day that was just for the two of you--to read a book together, to play dolls, I bet her behavior would improve dramatically.



Perhaps you could buy her a new book and ask her to stay in bed when she awakens early and to look at books...just keep a few by her bedside.



Good luck! I envy you a new baby and a 4 & 6 year old--even as trying as it seems at the moment!



Best of luck!



I am adding to my answer, as I see you have added details about her being gone to school from 9 am to 3PM or so each day, with NO NAP....she probably is somewhat tired, and I do still think that with a new baby in the house all day, and her having such a small slice of your time, the jealousy is very much an issue.



I would suggest you cut back on her school hours, if possible, or cut back on the number of days that she goes, but with her behavior, that, too, would be difficult. If ever you needed a Mary Poppins now would be the time, Love!

Answer 2

she may be going to bed too early at night so that's why she's up so early. get her into a routine where she has playtime or dance time in the evening (to tire her out) then a nice warm bath and warm milk and a story before bedtime. PLEASE don't tell her she's "bad" or say how difficult she is in front of her. trust me...she will try to live up to that and resent you when she is older. Instead give her positive reinforcement, where you tell her things like..."come on mommies sweetie pie...you're a big girl so help me with the baby!" She is probably reacting to the new baby "taking her place." Tell her that since she's such a good girl she can have her toys back in her room and when she "acts up" say "come on, my good girl knows how to behave, right?" I'm telling you, I had one of the strongest willed daughters in the world...don't label her or it will only make things worse...good luck and let me know if you need any advice with her...that...I can say I know A LOT about! oh...also, she may eventually resent the baby if she doesn't feel that her feelings are heard or understood!

Answer 3

wow. well first off i'm sorry you're having to deal with that. the whole deal with her waking up at 5am and just wandering around the house could be a few different things. does she take naps during the day or just sort of lay around the house? if so then you should put a stop to that. dont let her take any naps, or only allow her to take very short ones. and get her involved in physical activities. that way she'll be tired by bed time and will be more likely to stay asleep throughout the night. if this doesnt help maybe she has some sort of sleeping condition? dont give her toys back until she starts to behave. keep them somewhere where she cant get a hold of them and let her know that as she begins to act right and follow the rules completely that she will gradually start to get her toys back. as far as drawing on her things, she's probably just bored without her toys so i wouldn't stress out too much about that. when it comes to her going to the bathroom on herself, well i'm sorry but that's just her being lazy. she's 4 years old and fully capable of making it to the toilet. she may just be wanting to get attention from it, but dont give it to her. when you see that she's wet herself you shouldn't ignore it, but tell her that she should not be doing that. tell her to go clean herself up and change herself and even have her deal with the dirty clothes (make her put it in a special bag or somewhere) just so that she sees you're not going to do that for her. if she refuses to clean herself leave her that way. i know that sounds so wrong, but she wont feel comfortable for very long and eventually will change herself, or at least take the dirty clothes off. she's just trying to push your buttons to see how far she can take you. dont let her be the boss.

Answer 4

Wow, sorry you have to go through this with her! :o(



It sounds like she might have attachment disorder, if that's possible? It's usually common in children who were neglected for the first 7 months of their life. (My adoptive little sister was neglected for the first 12 months of her life and behaves just like that, honestly it was like somebody was writing about her, except that my sister also attacks other children and teachers at her school.)



But it can also occur when a child is not given the chance to bond with mum in the first weeks of it's life, perhaps because mum had post-natal depression or because the baby was in a special care baby unit so didn't get all the cuddles and attention she needed early on.



Perhaps it would be worth seeing your Dr if any of the factors above apply to your daughter.



It sounds like your doing everything right yourself so far, so maybe take her to a Dr even if you don't suspect attachment disorder.



Good luck! x

Answer 5

Maybe she needs a slightly later bedtime, just an hour or so.



My son is 2 and has NEVER needed 12 hours sleep at night. 10 hours is his maximum. If we put him to sleep at 7pm he's up and playing at 5am. So he doesn't go to bed until 9pm, that way he sleeps till 7am.



Not all children need 12 hours sleep (although the "books" insist on a 7pm bedtime) and if your daughter doesn't need the 12 hours then she will wake up earlier.



Of course, you know your child and what she needs, I'm just suggesting this as its something I've found with my own son, for him 10 hours sleep at night is all he wants/needs and any attempt at an earlier bedtime just means he ends up waking up at some unearthly hour of the morning!

Answer 6

Hi...I can understand how difficult its for u now..and u are doing ur best. Well it's not easy to understand wht she really wants coz u do spend quality time with her..she just has to know her boundaries. I know wht I am suggesting is not easy always but being harsh does not usually work. When ever u find her doing things that annoy u..breath in slowly ,calm urself and tspeak to her in ur best kindest and loving way. Praise her and do mention shez a good example to her siblings. Tell u other lil ones how well behaved and a fantastic sister she is...give her rewards when she's well behaved but when u

correct her be'firm' sit down to reach her height and speak to her firmly.she will gradually understand.Pls ignore her when she cries..I know how frustrating it can be...but if u want her to change u will hav to ignore her crocodile tears...ask her to speak..thats the only choice she gets if she wants to be heard.



Praise her and give her hugs for all the lil things she does rite..say she looks beautiful when she smiles...positive reinforcement will help her flourish to the girl u want her to be..!!! Things get a bit out of hand when u shout at her...it wud take longer for her to calm down and by then u wud hav lost all ur energy...its all waste of time!!! Put her late to bed..give her papers to cut and paste...play with musical toys...give her a drum so that she can throw her tantrums on it....

she wants something from u..and she is sending u the message by throwing tantrums. when u are calmer u will know exactly wht she needs!!!

I hope I cud help u in some way...good luck to u dear!!!

Answer 7

Sorry your having this trouble with her! I kinda know what you mean as my daughter gets up at 6:30 on my days off and I like to sleep in. But maybe it isn't her fault. Has she had her tonsils taken out? My daughter was having a really bad time with an attitude and always being whiny when one night I noticed her snoring REALLY bad, to the point she would stop breathing for several seconds. I made the dr.s appt, and when we got her tonsils out, she was a different child. She sleeps so much better at night, and she isn't in a bad mood as much. She does still wake up at 6:30, but thats only if I put her to bed at 8:00. If I keep her up, she sleeps in. Maybe its not her tonsils, but if I were you, I would contact her dr and tell them whats going on. They can maybe help you. Good Luck, and don't beat yourself down for this. Its not your fault, and she pass this phase before you know it!

Answer 8

I dont know if your for or against but if your for then give her a swat on the butt.

if she is getting up at 5 am stealing things then i know this will sound really mean but maybe you should get a lock for her door or possibly get another baby gate to put on top of the other one forming a door so that way she cant get out. Or something of that nature. Other then that i ran out of ideals too. good luck

Answer 9

You said you have a baby who is 5 months? Maybe she is feeling jealous of the new baby and feeling a little neglected (of course, I'm assuming that shes just started acting like this and hasn't been doing this before the baby was born)

Answer 10

I had the situation while i became into turning out to be up. My mom tried each and every thing, out of your suggestive warm sauce to rubbing alcohol. Come on, i became into smart sufficient to pass and wash. Frankly, what stopped me became into braces. they had to place a mechanism interior the precise element of my style bud/top jaw which might help in widening the style bud. after the years of sucking, it had slowly made my top palate mold downward (no longer sufficient to observe on the outdoors.) And my finger that I sucked on is somewhat and permanantly crooked.. I advise you do consistent reminders, and via the evening you're taking the hands out of the mouth. additionally examine with your pediatrician. - stable success.. Miltnmedic

Answer 11

well does she take a nap still? If so that might be something to consider stopping.Local health food stores have kid teas that might help also something like chamomile tea or warm milk try some holistic type things to help her sleep better

Answer 12

oh my goodness ... i dont know! but im sorry ...



it seems like shes just one of those kids - i was like that too when i was 4. My mum said i was so bad that she never planned on having anymore. . .



Im sure she will grow out of it. The only thing i can think of is to put a lock on the outside of her door! But thats extreme!!!



Have you taken her to the docs? It sounds like she might have something like ADHD or Aspergers? It wouldnt hurt to be checked ... and you never know the visit might scare her into behaving?



good luck! xxx

Answer 13

More time outs, and ask her why she is doing all this?

Consequences. Tell her what happens if she does all this. And tell he how it makes you feel.

She might need to see someone....

Answer 14

Simply put: Your daughter gets up at 5 the YOU GET UP AT 5. You wake yourself up and make sure she doesn't do anything she's not supposed to. I hate BAD PARENTS who blame everything their child does because of them on the child. Hello who told you that you don't need to watch a 4 year old? That person should be locked up along with you and hubby and the key thrown away forever. That child would be better off living in the wilderness than with uncaring so called parents. Your husband and you should lose ALL of your possessions because you don't know how to raise your kid. You took all of hers because you were too selfish to take care of her right.



I'm sorry for the rant but you really need to get your butt up with her because its only going to continue. Do you put her to bed at 7? I've heard of parents doing that because they're little kids. If you put her too bed later a miracle might happen and she might actually sleep in till your selfish self wants to get up.



Some kids naturally get up early each morning but for a reason. My nephew has always gotten up early since an infant and he's 9 now. My sister used to get up at 6 and he'd get up with her.