Ok I need help A.S.A.P.! Please somone answer me!?

Question

I have a 2 and a half year old son. God he's so bad!!! Seriosuly! I love him so much, but man I cant handle him anymore!!! He breaks my make-up and its my favorite make-up(physycians formula) , he makes a mess in the kitchen like spilling milk or water or juice on the floor (he takes the gallons out of the fridge) , or breaking eggs. Or taking out all the clothes in the drawers! I dont know what to do with him! Ive put him in timeout, ive tried talking to him, (i dont spank). I dont know what to do!!!! Please anyone help!!!!! Im a 20 year old mom and hes my first. I wish he was better but seriously i dont know what to do! :(

Answer 1

Wow, this sounds familiar. My oldest is 2 1/2 and she is awful. My 13 month old is a little angel. That's how I know it isn't my parenting. Some children are difficult and what works w/ one may not work w/ another. Time outs don't work for her. I have tried spanking and it doesn't bother her in the least. Not spanking is completely up to you. A counselor told me though that if you can just save a spanking for the absolute worst times then it will have more of an effect. Don't do it in anger (which I doubt from the sounds of your question that you would) that way he knows that when you finally get to that you mean business. But like I said, it may not work either. I have started putting locks on everything. Door knob covers to keep them out of problem rooms (bathroom, closets), locks on all cabinets. Now for the clothes and the drawers, I have the exact same problem. I just don't know the answer. It's frustrating. She just ruined one of my eyeshadows the other night. We cover the same things time after time. I see that alot of people that have answered seem to think that they know exactly how to parent every child. To them, I hope that they have at least one more child and that it is a little high strung so that they can see that spanking or time outs are not always the answer. There may be something going on w/ your son that your aren't aware of that is making him act up. I've thought the same about my daughter. But sometimes it's hard to see when you are living in it. I hope that it improves and you find a solution. Don't ever let people make you feel bad or that you are the reason for your son's behavior. Those people are very simple minded, know-it-alls. Good Luck!!!!

Answer 2

Maybe he needs more attention...or maybe there is something else going on. These things are kind of normal kid things though...some kids are just more curious than others. Talk to a local school...sometimes they can give you referrals to behavioral experts...



Also, could anyone be harming him? My step-son started being very violent and ruining all my other kids toys...we found out that his mother's boyfriend was beating him...once out of that situation he turned back into the good boy he had been before.



My other son (who is 2 and a half), gets kind of destructive when I am on the computer, he feels like he is not getting the attention he deserves, and knows I am busy so I wont respond quickly. He decides to "wash" his hands and will destroy the whole bathroom by the time I get up to check on him. So I try to limit my computer time to when he is napping. (difficult since I am in online college).



I use spanking occasionally. As long as you are not doing it out of anger, spankings can be effective. Children don't like it, and it is rememberable. They will think about getting spanked before they do something a second time. Not the best thing, but sometimes effective.

PS There is a difference between spanking and beating...I was abused and my dad used to "spank" me with a 2x4 with holes in it on my bare bottom...that is not a spanking...and it is that kind of stuff that traumatizes children.



Since you are so against spankings, perhaps you could try a whistle. You will have to catch him in the act, but if you blow it , it will definitely get his attention. Then make sure you are firm, and without emotion if possible....kids play on emotion..which I am sure you know.



GOOD LUCK!

Answer 3

Be consistant with telling him no..Try getting those magnet locks they have for fridge doors! Also get some child locks for all your cabinets.. Make sure you tell him no no every time he does this....Ah yes, the fun times! Maybe he is doing these things because he wants attention..Remember for a child, negative attention is better than no attention..I learned this the hard way also. Try the time out chair, you can only expect him to stay their for 2 minutes. If he gets up, put him back. You have to be soooo consistant, I can not say that enough! I also do not believe in SPANKING! I was not spanked as child and I do believe that it teaches them that physical harm is okay! Good luck!!

Answer 4

Well I have to agree with wifey. A spanking never hurt any child. That's the problem now a days. A spanking if far different from a beating, and that's what to days parents misunderstand. A spanking with time out is the best way to handle this type of behavior. But don't hit or spank when you are at your wits end. Then the emotion gets to the best of you and you might spank too hard, thus resulting in a beating which is something you don't want to do.

The way I would handle this is simply when he spills something or makes a mess I would INTENTIONALLY. That is important. IF he does it by accident, I would not punish at all. Body language that is important. IF you see it is done with intention, then spank his hand, say no, then send him to time out. Explain to him that this is something that is not done, then put him in a corner or in bed for 10 min, and repeat the process.



Good Luck

Answer 5

I think he's got too much free rein in your house. I have two children, and I know how hard it is to watch a child every minute, but seriously, it sounds like he is a little too unsupervised. I would recommend setting up a schedule that gives him more one on one time with you and you and he could do little crafts, read books, play cars, anything to keep him occupied. Save the housework for when he's in bed. Lock up anything that you don't want him into and consider blocking off portions of your house so he can't get there.



I remember when my first little girl was about the same age. I was trying to fix dinner when I heard a sound. I turned around and she had opened the refridgerator and was dropping eggs on the floor. I didn't even know she could open the refridgerator! I moved her, cleaned up the eggs and put her on a chair. The next thing I know she's climbed up on the table and was pouring out all the salt. That's when I knew she was officially a toddler. Don't feel bad, we all have stories to tell, especially about two year olds.

Answer 6

At your boys age he thinks you are the same as him. Your Job is to teach him to understand there's a difference. Kids are very smart he will learn fast. Spank him its an option just dont do it when you are upset. That will help him understand if he does some wrong he will not like what happen after.

Remember theres is a big difference between. Hit or beat your child and spank him to educate him.



Also very important. Just like pets when they do a nice trick they get a cookie!





Good luck with your little Monster.

Answer 7

Glad to hear you don't spank. That never solved anything. It only teaches them to fear you or to hit back when they don't get what they want.



I know this is a lot of work, but it sounds as though he needs many guided activities. When my children were that age, I'd have them help fold laundry (mostly their own things or other small items) then put it away. We'd prepare food together, play "see if you can find ______" at the grocery store, "help" me vacuum or whatever work I was doing.



I had a neighbor who had an innovative idea, too. She'd put a small amount of water in a bucket, give her boys paint brushes (like for painting walls), and have them "paint" the deck, porch, or sidewalk. It would get a good rinsing and it kept the boys busy while she worked outdoors.



I know it takes longer to have them "help", but it keeps them busy in a good way while teaching good work habits. As they get older (my son is now 25 and has his own family) they gain a different perspective on it and realize just how much you did for them. He has a new appreciation for all I did and put up with. My 16-year-old learned well enough that she never needs to be told to do her share of the work. It was well worth letting them "cut my work to double" when they were smaller.

Answer 8

Babygirl my momma whipped my azz all the time when I was little and I didn't fudge up no more. I did what I was spose to do. If you don't spank him he will not do what you want him to do. You don't have to spank him hard but just enough for him to know that whatever he is doing is a no-no. Open the hand that he does it with and just tap him. My sister never spanked her kids and her oldest son is soooooooo out of control. It will only get worse if you don't get control of him.

Answer 9

First of all, don't feel bad, he just needs some tough love, and luckily you're at witts ends and are ready to give it to him.

Some ideas:

1.) for time out, put him in for 2 mins(his age), set a timer for that long, tell him that until it goes off he can't get up, no talking, no toys, just time out, if he breaks the rules, reset the timer, when he learns it gets him no where, he'll quit trying to get out of it.

2.) hes old enough, make him help you clean up the messes he makes, put clothes away, clean up milk, etc.

3.) Put child locks on the fridge and cabinets or just don'r let him in the kitchen via baby gate.

4.) put your make-up and anything else in the cabinet and put a lock on it.

5.) if he spills his drinks on purpose keep them out of his reach and make him ask you for a drink so you can watch his with his cup, or just put a spill proof lid on extremely tight so he can't get it off.

6.) no food or drink out of the kitchen, the end.

7.) give him productive things to do, color, toys, books, nothing messy though like play-dough.



Good Luck

Answer 10

Welcome to parenting a toddler, they are all like that. The difference is he is being allowed to get away with it. Get child latches for the drawers and cabinets, get a latch lock for the fridge and keep your precious make-up out of his reach. Get a locking makeup box if you have to. Keep consist ant with time out. Get a timer that you set for the amount of time and if he gets up before time is up, reset the timer. Make a bigger deal out of the times he is being good than when he is not.

A good smack on the butt is not going to traumatize him. If it was the only way you corrected him and an every day occurrence that would be different, but if you only do it once in a while and only when he is in danger of real harm (about to pull a dresser on top of himself or getting into something that could poison him) then it will no hurt him emotionally. I was spanked but rarely because it only happened when I put myself in real danger. I never wanted to do anything that got me spanked again. If you do not get control of him now, it will only get worse. Good luck

Answer 11

You need to set some limits for him - he's not allowed in your bathroom, or to open the refrigerator. You also need to provide him with something else to do! He's bored, and when toddlers get bored they get into trouble! just like any kid. But, by setting the limits now, and teaching to entertain themselves in a good way you will have less trouble when he is older.



As far as spanking goes - it doesn't have to hurt. It's more of a shock factor at his age, an attention getter. Since his attention span isn't very long at this age by the time he is finished with timeout he may not even remember what he did to get in trouble!



Take him to the park, or even McDonald's playplace (when the weather is bad) and let him run around and wear himself out!

Answer 12

You need training more than your child. Most of the advice you're gonna get here is how to PUNISH your child for bad attitude, when a much more powerful method is to a) change your words and attitude and b) reward good behavior. Punishment is the last-resort of a good parent.



Read understand and follow two authors: Jim Fay and Faber/Mazlish.

Answer 13

I am a 20 year old mom too. My son is almost two and he went through a phase like that. You have to be tough with your discipline. My son got a lot of time outs he became very well acquanted with the wall. When he touches something he isn't suppose to smack his hand if he does it again put him in time out facing a wall and make sure it is in a room with no tv. You may have to sit there to make sure he doesn't move but ultimately he will begin to hate time out and will start behaving. Just be tough and don't give into the puppy dog face.

Answer 14

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Answer 15

I once read that next time you see your son sleeping, take a mental picture of his angelic face. Then, at times like this, you can remember that darling face, and deal with him in a stern but calm manner. I know it's hard and it takes a lot of energy, but try letting him help you load the washer and dryer, or set the dinner table, it keeps them busy for awhile. They love helping. Have him help clean up any messes he makes, put the clothes back into the drawer, etc, then praise him for being so helpful. Distract him with toys and coloring books. I know it's hard though.

Answer 16

He needs a good paddling! Don't feel like you are 'beating' your child... if you are paddling their bum or smacking their fingers it is not beating. At 2 years old there is only so much that will be effective. When you put him in timeout be sure it is away from any thing that would stimulate him and do not talk to him or show him any attention until it is over. You should get a child lock for the fridge and drawers... do what you can to stop him from being able to follow through w/ the bad behaviors in the first place. WHen he is being good for awhile verbally praise him. Maybe he is just bored and needs more 1:1 w/ you?

Answer 17

every time he does that sit him in time out a min for how old he is so if he is 2 set him in time out for 2 min we are starting to do this to are daughter and it really works shut of the tv or whatever and tell him he cant gut up until his min are done and if he keeps getting up tell him he has to keep sitting there till he sits for two min it will actually work it might be hard at first

Answer 18

Try those baby barriers that they use for pets to keep him out of the kitchen. Keep expensive makeup or any chemical stuff out of his reach. Childproof all the cupboards and cabinates with child locks. These are easily obtained and will save your sanity for sure.

Answer 19

Two year old love to piss off mom or dad!!! I would put him in his crib when he's does this, and tell him he can't come out until he stops. He will get sick of being in there after a while. Keep checking on him, but don't show any emotions or facial reactions. He'll love that too!!! Good luck!

Answer 20

This may sound crazy, but first talk to your doctor. Try changing his diet. Food allergies can cause bad behavior in children. You can eliminate all sugars, sodas, sugary juice...any of this stuff. There is no nutrition in that anyway. See if it helps. Still take to your doctor about food allergies and behavior.

Answer 21

You don't have to spank him...



You just have to (daily) take the time (and it does take time...but after a while...they get it, and it DOES take very controlled and routine patience...good luck with that...)



...to "teach" him good behavior...kids are essentially little imitative monkeys...if you leave them to their "default" programming...you get what you are describing now...



You can be stern and inject a little "fear of Momma's wrath" into them without "corporeal punishment"...that's okay...making them "fear" you a little is part of how we learn to behave...us little tykes (I remember being one) are not going to be little angels without a little "incentive" and "fear..."



Reward and punishment...we're just little monkeys, you know...

Answer 22

ok u dont believe in spanking..just think of a firm non-corporal punishment. take away his fav toys or snack..someting of that nature. its important to get his attention now..before hes whoopin YOUR behind when he turns 13

Answer 23

They make locks for fridge doors, I'd start with getting one of those. Next I am sorry but I think he needs spanked. You do not have to go overboard but if time out isn't fixing it, spanking may.

Answer 24

sometime you have to give your child a spanking so they know your not playing around a 2 year old does not really know what time out is and by the way it don't matter the age there all bad

Answer 25

I honestly think he needs a good spanking!! I use spanking as a last resort and it sounds like you are at your last resort. He sounds like he is completely out of control and nothing is being done to get him to behave. Maybe his first spanking will help him out. Good luck with that.

Answer 26

This kid needs a spanking. That's why he's running around all crazy like, because he thinks he can get away with whatever he wants to do and won't get into any trouble. He won't die from a spanking, I was spanked as a child and I still love my parents to bits and pieces and I'm glad they spanked me because I know I'd be a psycho serial killer if they didn't.

Answer 27

I think all you need is a nursery room where he can stay almost all day and get busy with all his toys. I've always believed that to spare the rod, you spoil the child, but he's too young to even understand that.

Answer 28

i would send him to boarding school/military school. that would straighten him up...i have a younger brother and he is also trouble, i keep telling my mom to send him to military school....that would straighten your son up...before its late.