Why is my son doing this???

Question

My son is 6 years old. A few months ago my husband and myself noticed he had a strange new "habit"...he rubs his finger on his rectum (can't think of a nicer way to put it), and then smells it. I don't even think he realizes he's doing it. I have asked his doctor, but he says "I'm sure it's a phase that will pass". I have him washing his hands a billion times a day for obvious reasons, but it's to the point that sometimes he actually smells from doing this and then touching his face, clothes, etc. We have talked to him about it, told him this is something that needs to be done in private, and that he must wash his hands thoroughly afterward...but as I said, I don't think he even realizes when he's doing it. I don't want to embarrass him, or make him feel like his body is something "bad". Has anyone else dealt with this? Why is he doing this? I am beyond worried that he will continue to engage in this activity when school begins again in August! Any advice, or words of wisdom?

Answer 1

These sorts of actions are not at all odd or even uncommon. I hear about parents worrying about these sorts of issues virtually every day.



Firstly, I applaud you for not punishing him or making him feel bad about his habit, as disturbing or even socially inappropriate as it might be. Not only will it make him feel bad, but it might further encourage the activity. Some above have stated that this tack is not the best means of altering behavior, but the studies I have read have shown otherwise.



Your ped. is correct that it likely a phase -- but you probably also want to know WHY he does it. It most likely came about through self-exploration...something that we all did at that age. (Maybe not the rectum, but we all, as humans, have the natural instinct the explore...first our bodies, then external events.) He noticed that there was a strange smell on his fingers after the exploration, and now finds that smell different and fascinating. He will likely eventually grow bored of the smell and stop doing it.



If, however, you are concerned about the health and/or social inappropriateness of the act, a little nonconfrontational education might be in order.



Show him examples of various diseases that can come from the consumption of feces...pictures of children with hookworm, roundworm, amoebic dysentery, giardia, etc. It might also be good to show him actual pictures of what these parasites look like. Those, alone, might dissuade him from rubbing his rectum and putting his fingers near his mouth. If he starts again, show him the pictures again, and restate the sorts of symptoms and problems that can come from these diseases. Tell him that you aren't angry at him, you just don't want to have to take him to the hospital.



Good luck, and again don't panic. Nothing about his actions are at all strange!

Answer 2

It's likely a sensory thing. He likes the feel of the rubbing and gets some kind of satisfaction from the olfactory (smell) sense as well. I've not dealt with it but you are wise to be in-tune with this unusual behavior. I think you are doing the right thing (by explaining that it's somehint you do in private and, for the sake of being sanitary, he needs to wash his hands when done)- just keep reminding him and eventually he will become more aware of his actions. As always if you're really concerned check with the pediatrician on the behavioural front (as opposed to the physical ailments...) and if needed s/he might refer you to a behaviour specialist.



Best of luck!

Answer 3

It sounds like you have tried a few different things, what about ignoring it. Make sure he washes his hands before he eats anything, but otherwise ignore the behavior. Maybe he didn't realize when he was doing it, but he has gotten so much attention for doing it that he might be doing it more on purpose now (consciously or unconsciously). Also if you find a pattern of when he is doing it, before or after having to go to the bathroom, when hands not occupied otherwise, maybe give him a squishy ball to play with so his hands are otherwise occupied while watching tv or other times when he might be doing this.

Answer 4

First,ask him if he is itching at all.He could have worms.They are common in young kids.

Second,he is old enough to understand a "bacteria" talk.

Tell him that poo is waste product that our body doesnt need and contains some forms of bacteria that,if it accidentally gets in someones mouth(even his) by touching surfaces etc,it can make people sick.

third,give him a bath/shower every day.

Stop this before it becomes a habit because its pretty disgusting and other kids will shun him....not to mention adults.

Catch him as often as you can as he is trying to stick his hand down his pants.put overalls on him....may be that will help break the cycle.

Answer 5

It's possible he's just curious about his body and since he's obviously potty trained, he's wondering about the way his body smells and the way he releases waste. I'm sure this is just a stage, but just make sure he keeps his hand clean and away from his mouth. Hope this helps.

Answer 6

He's just doing what little boys do best-- being gross. I'm sick of all this psychobabble that people toss around that says you can damage your child by saying "no" to them. You're the mom. Tell him it's bad and can make him sick and that he'll be punished if he continues to do it. I mean, if he was playing with dog poop in the yard, you'd have no problem laying down the law for that, right? Butts are dirty and he's going to get sick.



If you think he's attempting to masturbate or something, it's definitely cause for alarm. Six years is much too young to be thinking about sex and could mean that someone has molested him or something. But if he's just being gross, tell him to stop.

Answer 7

Have you check for pinworms it may sound gross but is a common thing. Some children that eat dirt, play outside, put there fingers in there mouth or scratch there tail in. May have pinworms. check out more info at Web Md http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/pinworms-topic-overview. Hope this helps good luck!

Answer 8

First have a doctor check him out for any violations if you know what I mean, then check for an infection.



My son touches the front thing so I guess that's close enough. He probably went to wipe and got a little on himself and is now intrigued by what that is. When another kid sees him do it they will go "eeew" That will embarrass him and he won't do it again. It sucks but he will outgrow it.

Answer 9

TTC baby is SO WRONG....many children masturbate in a way...it is not wrong and not always a sign od abuse many do it for comfort...I suggest that every time you see him doing this habit that you make a loud noise....clap your hands and shout "NO!" ...then carry on about your business...dont make a fuss...just be very clear when he does it.

Answer 10

Wow I've never heard such a thing! I don't even have any advice for you other than to ask him why he's doing it to see if there's a problem down there.