7 yrs old and still needs to have his butt wiped for him?

Question

Okay so im not sure how or even if i should say something to my husbands grandmother or aunt. So what is going on is his grandmother takes care of her daughters 7 yr old son. and the boy is still having people wipe his butt for him he will sit in the restroom and scream for ever until someone comes and wipes it for him. He is seven years old and to me this is WAY to old to be having someone do this for you. All my little cousins nephews etc stopped that once they could use the toilet by there selves which was when they were very young no where near this age. It drives me crazy because i work at the house and am over ther alot so i witness this a lot. The boy is completly spoiled any way he gets WHAT EVER he wants and has NEVER been punished since i have known them. Even when he hurts some one or breaks something or even back talks. So my question is do you think i should even mention any thing about him being to old for this and also at what age did you stop doing this for your little one

Answer 1

Don't get involved, people don't like to be told how to raise their children (they have parental care of him, so its the same thing) Don't let it bother you, some kids aren't as loveable as others.

Answer 2

I don't know the way to bring it up because I don't know them. One option might be to mention that lots of children that age don't know how to do it properly and so it's good if they are teaching him to do it right, because then at school he'll be able to do it better than almost anyone. I've known adults who clearly don't know how to do it right. And it's because I've NOTICED the problem. Others maybe did it wrong but it wasn't bad enough for me to notice. Some people simply never learned. Just like probably over 90% of the people don't know how to clean a toilet correctly but many think mistakenly that they do.



However, the sad news is that they probably not only aren't teaching him right, but also they probably don't do it well themselves. In fact, maybe if they were doing it right, he'd be able to by now. Basically, you need to run the toilet paper, fold it some, run it again harder, and no one can tell better than the person who needs the wipe how much help it needs.



I myself sometimes dampen a papertowel a bit and use it, then dry with a dry portion of the papertowel, because that gets the job done better probably than well over ninety percent of people. The disadvantage is that the papertowel needs to be discarded in regular trash so it's better to use toilet paper for the first pass or two.



So, it's something that to do extremely well isn't as easy as most people think. But at the same time, they should be teaching him and they're probably not.

Answer 3

My girlfriend's son is almost 4 and was doing that a lot. "Momma!" Calling her to come wipe his butt. Sometimes he'd ask me, too, and I'd tell him that I wipe my own butt and that he has to wipe his own butt. Just the other day, my girlfriend said he hasn't been calling her to wipe his butt at all. Now I'm sure he'll try to play dumb and ask her to do it, but as far as I know, she tells him to do it and she won't do it whatsoever. 7 years old is way too old to have his butt wiped by somebody else, family or not. He just needs to be told to wipe his own butt or walk around with a stinky, crusty @ss.



This reminds of when I was little, maybe 5 or 6, and my mom made a comment saying that I was old enough to take my own bath. I told her she'd be bathing me until I turned 16, lol. Well, I definitely started bathing my own self way before 16. Maybe this kid just wants to see if someone will really get up to wipe his butt. And they obviously do. But if he's screaming to have it done... sounds like he needs an @ss whipping instead of wiping.

Answer 4

do not make him sense undesirable related to the placement or have undesirable self-properly worth because of the fact of it. possibly he does not understand the thank you to do it good or maybe he's lazy- who's regular with. yet he's 8 and possibilities are high VERY quickly he's going to alter into greater conscious of his physique and then he will sense awkward together with his mom wiping his butt. Does he ask you to do it while there are sleep overs? What approximately while he's at a buddy's abode? My advice is while he yells at you to "WIPE MY BUTT" tell him you're busy. Make your factor which you're too in contact in doing what you're doing on the 2d to do it for him. Make him must be greater self sufficient and assertive over his very own hygiene. i like the advice approximately moist wipes, they are plenty much less complicated to apply and could assure he gets all. If purely this replaced into Europe and he would have bidet that should spray his bum for him. Heck, if the problem will become so severe flow out and spend the $one hundred or $200 to get him a bidet.

Answer 5

most kids aren't able to properly wipe AS SOON AS they are able to go potty on their own. I'd say 5 or 6 is average for most kids, because once they are out of kindergarten, they are on their own. My guess is, if you say something they'll just take offense and assume you're an idiot. If he's that spoiled, they're not going to change right now just because you say something. My own son had this down by 4.5 - 5 years old, but I know for a fact the kindergarten teacher at his school were still expected to do it for them if necessary.



IF you say anything, I'd say "so how does he get by in school, surely his teachers aren't doing this for him"



They probably never realized it.



while i know a 3 or 4 year old probably COULD wipe their butts, i wouldn't trust them to do a good job...

Answer 6

My sister had a live in boy friend who's parents wiped his bum until he was 14. when he was 21 he was using a wet washcloth.

It is not your child, so you can't realy say anything, you can drop hints.

Also since you are there I am sure you have givin him the occasional wipe. Next time you go in the b room encourage him to do it himself, let him flush, kids like that.

Answer 7

I would think he would have started wiping whenever he learned to use a toilet on his own. What does he do when he is at school?



I don't know if you should say something or not, maybe mention something to your husband first, there might be a personal reason behind why he still needs them to do this, I just don't know..

Answer 8

I remember until i has lik 4-5, My parents stood in the door way of the bathroom and watched while I wiped, when I was done they praised me, told me I was a great big girl etc. it made me feel good.

My point is ask him to wipe his own butt then praise when he's done. If he refuses to do it then take away "big kid" privelidges since he's not wiping his butt lik a big boy.

Answer 9

Next time this happens tell them that this is ridiculous, and it could be mentally damaging this child, and or causing him to not meet milestones that should have been already met.



However sounds to me that they are not doing what is best for this child, and he is going to grow up to be an absolute terror. If you think it is hazardous for the Grandma or the child, consider calling DHS. Sounds to me that this is going to be the best option. They will teach grandma to take care of the child properly or take him which ever is better for the child's development at this point!

Answer 10

this kid rules! he has learned to manipulate the adults around him to provide what ever services he requires when he requires them.



blame the adults in his life. Things like this dont just happen over night.



this is years of letting him call the shots.



if i knew him, i'd sure as hell be the one to smack him around a little bit and let him know to cut the cr*p.





Maybe you could tell some of his friends about how he cant wipe his own butt and they'd sure to tease him.

Answer 11

aroud 3 or 4 is the normal age to at least try to wip on your own. just tell them how you feel about it. does he go to school? b/c my daughters kindergarten wouldnt let them in if they had a pacifier or blanket they had to have or if they wernt toilet trained, which includes wiping. try giving him baby wipes to encourage him doing it himself, ive heard that works. or just tel him that the kids at school will make fun of him if he cant wipe his butt and smells like poop all the time, because you arent helpng him anymore, bc he is too old!

Answer 12

I have not potty trained my son as he is 15 months old. My sisters kids, the youngest one that is potty trained is 4, he wipes all by himself. I think 4 is the absolute limit.



As far as bringing it up, I would just suggest they make him try by himself before going in and helping him.

Answer 13

I would just suggest to them the wet wipes they have for kids now. They are flushable, and wet so the child does a good job wiping. Couldn't hurt to just mention it:) My daughter was wiping by herself by 4 years old.

Answer 14

uh yes? this is exactly why he is spoiled. You shouldnt be asking whether to tell him hes getting too old or not. You should tell him straight away even if he is too young for it. He will get used to it in the longrun and start depending on himself more rather than others.

Answer 15

Lol, he screams to get his *** wiped?

This kid needs to wipe his own butt and learn to be more independant. Make him do it himself, if he doesn't, it won't bother anyone but himself and he'll have to do it eventually.

Answer 16

i dont have kids but i haver TOINS fo exp because

i have 13 cusins. im an italian family and their over at my house 24/7

they all stopped around like 2-3 and they all wipe themself except for ONE!

butr what we do is we ignore it (she goes on and on also for litteraly 2 hours) until one day she got mad and did it herself and came int he kitchen and yelled at us all. waving her hands like an italian and she finally realized :O mommy i did it by myself! and shes been doing it ever since. my other suggestion would be to tell him to do it himself and kind of guide him through it. good luck.

Answer 17

My sister married a guy and she had to wipe his. His mom did it for him right up until then.

Answer 18

tell them to stop babying the boy and let him do things for himself and let him grow up

Answer 19

That's ridiculous. You should mention it and ask why he hasn't been able to learn to do this on his own. Ask him what he does at school, get a classmate to go with him? Haha

Answer 20

ignore him,lol at school my bro used to be like that i used to wind him up by saying

(teachers name),can you wipe my bum?

maybe if you keep saying that too him,he'll stop

Answer 21

wow i would definately say something. that is disgusting && is just teaching him bad habits on how to treat women. do they think his wife is going to wipe it for him too? ha!

Answer 22

I would kick him in the face when no ones looking...sorry I don't know what to do,but I understand you're anger.

Answer 23

i would let him sit there till he did it him self maybe rip a piece off for him when he goes in there and then let him sit there unless he wants crap in his pants

Answer 24

tell him he old enought a not a baby. tell him you th parent and he the children so you he has to listen to you.

Answer 25

tell him to grow up