Just because my cousin is mother [of a 4 year old] she always says/acts like she's "Sooooo busy, & exhausted"?

Question

Its not like I dont understand how hard it is to be a mother, thats exactly the reason why I do not carry on that role. Along with a hundred other reasons. Hey kids are amazing, dont get me wrong. Its just, like I said I have a lot of reasons for not wanting kids. I am 26, and I will be getting married in 2 years, as agreed upon my fiance and I.

So my cousin is about the same age, and whenever I talk to her says says "ohhhhh we're just so busy and exhausted, we're just trying to slow down from insanely busy lifestyle" and...thats cool and all...I understand that kids are a full time job, and that just because you 'work' from home, does not mean you arent busy all the time. I actually know as well because I work from home, so I kind of do the same thing, [let people know I am busy/etc]. HOWEVER, I am always upbeat and dont stress my hectic lifestlye like she does. Controversially, she told me "Im so sick of being at home all I do is sit on my butt" exclaiming that she cannot wait to be employed and get her life going again. So I am just wondering....

what should I tell her next time she says she is "SOOoooooOOOooOO busy" and trying "Slow down"??? She even told me tonight....they're trying to slow down from the busy summer they had which btw all they did was go camping twice and maybe one or two other activities....

Should I tell her..."WOah slow down you're still young, enjoy life"!! haha I dont know what to say but i'd like to say something. its just kind of weird because I feel like she's trying to 'outdue' her peers by saying she's so occupied...

Answer 1

LOL you sound crazy weres the question?? you say you know kids are a full time job but i don't think you really do!!! maybe you don't see your life as been so busy because your smoking too much of your cousins husbands weed!! get a life!

Answer 2

Good thing you don't have kids because you still have a lot of growing up to do. Until you have someone else's experience, you'd be better off keeping your judgements under wraps and your mouth shut.



To specifically answer your question, you should offer her sympathy and a warm and friendly ear. That's what friends DO for each other, no matter what their troubles are. If you want to be so judgemental about other people's problems, you really ought to put an ad in the personals for people with your own problems so you can commiserate.



You don't "get" her situation, so stop saying you do. You don't even have kids. It's a full time job, no breaks, no sick days, no sleep.



Honestly your judgement of her pisses me off. Your life is empty right now without kids and you don't even know it. Get married and have kids. Then you'll "get" it.

Answer 3

some opportunities: a million) She complains to justify no longer working exterior the domicile. 2) Exhaustion is different from being drained - it feels worse, and is not any longer alleviated by potential of sleep. you are able to't decide how drained somebody else is or isn't. 3) She is complaining via fact sympathy feels solid and could be a habit. 4) She is blowing you off and employing her tiredness as an excuse. 5) She has no longer something to speak approximately via fact her international has gotten smaller to the confines of her domicile. do no longer decide her or attempt to get her to alter. enable her stay her existence the way that she chooses to. in case you have extra loose time to hold out than she does, discover an new spouse to fill the empty time. it particularly is perplexing to work out somebody exchange, yet countless human beings exchange after having young little ones - you purely would desire to settle for it.

Answer 4

I think I'm going to get some thumbs down for this but.......



Raising children is an absolutely bi+ch. You never get any sleep, you have the listen to screaming all day, they wake up in the middle of the night and we do it because we love them beyond anything (obviously). I have possibly the easiest life ever.... I have 2 kids under 3 (who are pretty laid back), I don't work but I also have help from nannies, not that I just offload my kids to them but for example if I have to go out for an appointment or into my husbands company for a few hours or even if I just need to get out they are there to step in for a few hours I also have cleaners and that sort of thing. So given this I am probably not the best advocate of an overworked mom.

However, when you have children they are the centre of your life and you sort of loose whatever else you used to talk about so in that respect I sort of can understand how she will never stop blabbing on about her children, to be honest in most cases it is because they really have nothing else going on in their lives. As parents we don't really understand that people have less interest in the daily bowel movements and eating patterns of our children.

I also, find that mothers that stay at home, whilst yes it is tiring really lack the motivation to actually get up off the couch as you said and go and do anything at all. And along with that comes the pissing and moaning that you are too busy because your child interupts you a few times during the 5 hours Oprah marathon on that day.

A lot of the time mothers feel that they are the only ones that are allowed to be busy and the child free working girls should be free to have lunch at the other mothers choosing because 'what else could they possibly have going on in their day'. Its like once you become a parent you don't understand why it is possible for anyone else to ever be stressed.

In short you're damned of you do damned if you don't.



In your situation I would say to her something along the lines of:

- "isn't sitting on your butt all day slowing down? gosh give the working peoople a chance to catch up to your busy lifestyle"

- "I understand how you feel, toasting marshmallows is a pretty hectic way to spend a summer, you mae me feel lazy about working 9-5"

- Or you could say something like oh did you see Oprah today? (like you were shocked by its content) and when she anwers yes say (in a dissapointed tone) "ohhh I wish I could have seen it but being part of the workforce means I am busy in the one hour time bracket, I am really run off my feet. I wish I could sit on my butt all day like you do"



People with no drive and a bad attitude about those who don't have kids piss me off. How 'bout doing some kind of work if you really are that worried.

Answer 5

Taking care of ten-year-olds is a whole world away from one 4 year-old. Try starting from scratch with one and you will be begging her forgiveness. She has a full time job that doesn't stop at 5:00. Your stress is nothing compaired to hers.



Why don't you try helping her. Make her a deal that you will help her for a day with the baby and she will do something with you. Seems like a fare trade to me.



Children are GODs ultimate gift to us. We need to nurture and train them to be responsible adults. Yes, I will admit that at times (and different stages of their lives) they can be a hand full. Stressed...yes. Tired...yes. Want to hit a wall some times...yes. Want to give them up...NOT FOR ALL THE TIME OR MONEY IN THE WORLD.



It's a shame that you decided to miss out on all of that.

Answer 6

rant rant rant, where's your question?



You must feel sSooooOOOOOooooOOOO superior because you don't say you're SoooOOOoooOOO busy when you're not.