My child spits when she's mad, how can i get her to stop?

Question

My daughter has just turned 2 years old and she spits either on the floor or down her chin. She spits when she is mad or upset about something, she'll spit when her daddy hugs me, she'll spit when grandma comes to babysit, she'll spit if someone approaches that is unfamiliar. Just any little thing that upsets her makes her spit. Both my mother and his mother have told us to rub it on her face when she does this, which i'm not to fond of, but it doesn't seem to be stopping her, i have no idea where she even got the idea of spitting, but i really would like to break her of this rude habit. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

This is not a big deal she will grow out of this stage as long as you don't turn it in to a big deal.Rubbing it into her face is an absurd and immature idea whatever made them suggest that?Your child is a toddler and often they get these habits as they have not matured enough to know how to deal with times when they feel stressed or frustrated or anxious.So spitting is her way of giving a reaction to a situation she's not comfortable in.Totally normal toddler behaviour not to be punished.Instead you should try to teach her how to have a better way of reacting.Simply holding her hand and repeating how you think she may be feeling is a good start.Try saying "if you're feeling angry say i'm angry!it's ok"or whatever suits the emotion she might be going through.Of course at this age their vocabulary is limited but this is something you should work on with her.Eventually as she matures you will have encouraged her to use words as a way of her dealing with her feelings.You can say gently "no spitting."and wipe it away with a tissue but don't make a big issue over it or you will only increase her anxiety and then it will become a bigger deal.At this age it's all about teaching them a more appropriate way of acting but don't expect miracles as she is very young.I'm sure anyone with children will understand she's not being rude when she spits so don't worry about it just keep getting down to her level and help her to use her words.

Answer 2

Sounds like an odd combination of things...



- she is experimenting with her mouth and what it can do (similar to my daughter discovering what happens if she holds her mouth OPEN after taking a sip of milk!)

- she is reacting to attention it gets



One or both, perhaps.



If you totally ignore it, it may not stop because it is unaddressed.

If you punish it, it may not stop because of the attention it gets.



My best suggestion is to hang a uncomfy - kind of bib on her neck every time she spits, and explain - very calmly - that spitting is not nice, and that it is to catch the spit so her clothes do not get wet, and when she stops spitting she will not have to wear the bib anymore. Don't act mad, or a big deal, but insist she wear it til the spitting episode is over (perhaps up to 5 minutes maximum). Repeat as needed, taking care to be consistant. If she rips it off, give warning of a time out and follow through if necessary. Always stay calm and never show anger or frustration. Easier said than done, I know! But it is important.

Eventually she will make the connection and stop spitting. But as with any change, do not expect miracles... it may take a week or weeks even. But persistance will pay off.



Good luck!

Answer 3

My daughter used to spit too, mostly for attention. Ignoring it altogether didn't work, because she would just do it more. We tried that for weeks. I don't think spanking is abuse, but I think it's a solution very, very little (think dangerous behavior)--certainly not for this.



Now I get down to her level and tell her, "I don't play with people who spit" and go do my own thing for a few minutes. This takes the attention away from her, but unlike completely ignoring it, she knows WHY she doesn't have my attention. This has worked well for us, and she rarely spits anymore.



Good luck!

Answer 4

The next time she does it, bend down so that are you are at her level and tell her that spit does not belong on people. Ask her why she spits on people. It could be her way of getting attention. Tell her that its "yucky" to spit on people. Use a firm tone of voice (but dont yell) and tell her that if she spits on someone else she will have to sit in the "thinking chair" (the thinking chair should be in a place away from her toys, and she should sit for no longer than 2 minutes). Give her a choice. Tell her if she wants to spit its ok, but she has to spit in the toilet or outside (let her choose an area, maybe in your backyard that will be like her own "spit spot".

Answer 5

She is doing it to get a reaction from those around her. Ignoring it is the best thing to do. When she does this turn around and walk away from her. Tell everyone else to not say anything because she is doing it for the reaction. She soon tire of it and pick up another irritating habit to drive you nuts with. All spanking is going to do is show her to hit you when she doesn't like something. If she were old enough to really understand, she would get sit in the corner or a spat on the bottom.

Answer 6

Well my daughter had a habit of screaming and I tried everything but nothing worked so I just ignored it and I told everyone else to ignore it too.I guess once she stopped getting attention she just gave up because she hasnt screamed in a long time.Good luck.

Answer 7

Every time she spits, make her clean it up and a treat at the end of the day for no cleaning at all. Perhaps, let her stay up a little extra or use your imagination on that.

Answer 8

Rub her face in it!!? That seems just as childish and foul as her behavior. I suggest you and all the other adults ignore it, she does it for attention even the negative foul attention is better than none in her eyes. Give her no attention for the act then later tell her she gets attention when she is a nice girl, reward her greatly with praise and attention when she is good.

Answer 9

well i don't agree with ignoring it..we can't expect our children to learn right from wrong if we just ignore bad behavior.so you need to take some action..i am a fan of spanking.but mind you,there is a huge difference between spanking and beating kids..alot of young parents today think that even laying one finger on a child is abuse.that's not true at all.those are also the parents whose kids run their lives..i did spank my children,but i only had to do it a few times because they knew if i said i would spank then i would,not just threathen it time after time..i also kept control and made sure it was'nt out out anger.they were always told they were going to be given so many swats and no more.they never received more than 5 and if you got 5 then you were really in trouble.then they always were given an explanation and a hug,i love you.so i would try this and see how it works for you.but if you do try it,once you start you need to stay consistant so she will see that you mean business..hopefully it will only take a couple of times ...good luck to you..

Answer 10

My little sister used to do this. We told her if she kept spitting she would get the red sauce. Red sauce=tobasco sauce. It took 2 times for her to not spit again. It may seem cruel, but it got her to stop. We dabbed the sauce on our finger and rubbed it in her mouth.

Answer 11

i dunno, i'm still in favor of a little spanking, i think it teaches kids much better than anything else. the last few generations didnt grow up so bad, in fact i think older people generally have better manners from the ways they were brought up. i mean...come on...look at kids now...the US is 2nd in the world for highest teen pregnancies (next to mexico)...thats not good for a country that thinks we're so modern. a few pats on the butt or a flick on the hand will make them stop bad habits.

Answer 12

Make her wear one of those doctors' mask. Bet she won't like wearing it when it's full of saliva.

Answer 13

tape her mouth shut or spit back at her

Answer 14

Spank her when she does it!