Is it rude to take a rather loud 1 year old to the library?

Question

i like to go to the library but i cant go without my baby. When i take her she loves to talk and yell out in the middle of the library, sometimes i get questioning looks from other people and im wondering if its rude to take her with me.

Answer 1

Before I had my son (5 months old) I would have said yes. Now I wouldn't feel that bad. But my son is pretty quite. Not sure how your child behaves in public

Answer 2

I think it is rude to take a loud 1 yr old to the library, with one exception. Most libraries have storytimes, so that is an acceptable time to take a one-year-old.



It's quite possible that someone could be distracted from schoolwork, with negative effects. People go to the library for quiet so they can study and concentrate. How long you are there or how often is kind of irrelevant, because it's quite likely one of the people studying is there when you are, and that person is not there all day every day. If he went to the library to get some schoolwork done in about three hours, the thirty minutes of interruptions is a significant chunk of the time he set aside for uninterrupted study. Also, because the way a lot of libraries are built, accoustics make loud noise seem louder, especially in contrast to the otherwise peaceful silence. Your baby making loud, short, random sounds can be quite jarring and distracting.



If you don't know anyone who could babysit, could you ask a friend or someone else you trust if they have any referrals of good babysitters they've used? As you ably pointed out, it's only 30 minutes every two weeks. A referred trusted sitter twice a month for an hour at a time would be alright.



But if you're unwilling to do that, I think you should either stop going to the library or go at times when there are few people there, like first thing in the morning after they open, or later in the evening, not long before they close. The other library visitors have the right to enjoy the quietness they expect in the library.

Answer 3

I have never felt out of place at our local library with my 2 children. We do go to the toddler time there, so probably other people around on those days realize that there will be children there. My children love the library and love reading and being read to. I would check if your library has some sort of story time for young children. Then go for that and either do what you want to do before or after it. Don't let other people put you off doing something you obviously enjoy and also trying to encourage your child to love books. I also can't go anywhere without my children so I know how hard it is!

By the way, my now 2-1/2 year old had her first public tantrum in the library, now that was embarrassing and I got out of there quickly, but I'm still going back!!!

Answer 4

Yes, it's rude. I think you can find ways to go to the library without her causing a scene though.



Ask in the children's section if they have a toddler reading group. There will be lots of little ones there so her laughter and yelling won't be such a big deal. Also, if she goes to these kinds of events, she'll learn about acceptable library behavior. I know, at 1 year old she's not going to get it, but over time she'll learn. :)



Don't stop going to the library though. Try and get a sitter for an hour if you can. If you HAVE to take her, go when she's the least energetic but not too tired. OR, if you can get her on a schedule... Try feeding her lunch, then playing with her a bit. Then put her in the stroller and lay her down (assuming you have one of those kinds of strollers). Take a walk near the library. Once she has fallen asleep, take the stroller into the library and browse away! It's nice and quiet in there so she'll be able to have a peaceful little nap while you browse. Don't stay too long, of course. Find something and check it out, then walk to a shaded area and start reading while your daughter continues her nap. Sounds like a wonderful day to me, actually! :)



Good luck! :)

Answer 5

When a child is that young, it's irresponsible to take them to the library and not have a care or plan to redirect them when they yell and carry on. Your question was "Is it rude?" so the simple answer is "Yes."



However, I believe that it is also irresponsible to not take the child to the library until you can be confident that they will be quiet at all times when left unsupervised. How old will they be then? Twenty Five?



As a librarian and a father, I can tell you that people LOVE the babies that behave and forgive the parents who try their best to teach their babies when to play wild and when to play quietly. And, it's a sign of the times, that people will rush to call CPS or 911 when a parent abandons a todler in the children's room while they're off on My Space for two hours.



I'm right there with them.



Take your baby to the library. Stay with her. Be ready to leave when your baby becomes unmanageable. I've walked up to moms and said, "Hi Mam, if you leave me your card and your books, you can take your baby outside, and I will check them out for you." Take me up on it and people will think you - and I - are great.

Answer 6

Absolutely.



Try to find yourself a sitter for the hour or two so you can go by yourself. I KNOW that's hard, trust me. I'm not paying anybody, like there is $$ for that anyway!! I don't trust anyone, and my parent/siblings aren't in the same state to come and watch the boys & I can't overuse my mother-in law. She has a life too.



You might try to explain to her how the library works. (people go there to study, read, it is a quiet place)

She might not get that since she is one. Maybe turn it into a game for her, a quiet one. Let's see how long you can be quiet baby... reward--if you are quiet for the hour mommy wants to be in the library you can pick an extra book for bedtime???? or you have to bring something to occupy her, so she is quiet. (snacks, quiet toy, her own books) You could try to make this trip during her naptime.

It might suck for you, but if she gets loud, you have to leave. See if there is a reading group for younger children offered at the library. She can be in there, you might be able to browse. Even if you're in the group with her, maybe at the least she'll learn she has to be a little quieter in the library, if she is listening to someone read a story & not the one doing the talking.

I went just the other day, my kids are older & like to talk too, but I let them pick out a couple books first, then they sat and looked through them while I found some for myself. I totally get just needing to get out of the house for a minute. whew.



My library is online, I can browse online and reserve books. The librarian will get them and they will be waiting for you for pickup at the desk. If you know what books you want, you may be able to do that, so you can just pop in & pick them up.



But she is just a baby. You need to get out & if you have to take her, what can you do?? The best you can do is find something to occupy her while you are there or make your trip shorter than you would like.

Answer 7

Yes, it is.



As a parent of two I am quite aware that babies don't come with a remote control or a "mute" button. However, you know your babies personality and that she is likely to be disruptive. This means that until she reaches a point where whe can act appropriately for the venue taking her to the library with you is a problem.



The good news is that librarians are usually quite helpful. If you use the card catalog on line and have the librarian pull the books for you before hand the time your baby will spend in the actual library is the time it takes you to go to the counter and pick up your books. You can then take them to a local park (or wherever) to read.

Answer 8

They way I see it is if ppl cant understand the characteristics of a toddler then they need a wake up call! Most likely everyone at the library has had kids or has been around kids. I would just make the trip short and sweet but I would definitely not avoid the library! Its not a court room, it's a great place for kids and parents to be!

Answer 9

If your daughter is too young to understand about "inside voices" (and she is) then please be considerate and leave your child with a sitter. People come to the library with the reasonable expectation of peace and tranquility. I'm not surprised you are getting dirty looks. I am surprised that you wonder about it. As a regular at the library you must appreciate the pleasure of a quiet place to read.



I am sure there is a rule against loud behavior at the library if nothing else -- the librarian is entitled to ask you to leave if your child is too loud.

Answer 10

What if everyone took their noisy children to the library? Some people really need to be at the library for their education etc so i personaly would say it was unfair to take your kid to the library if she is going to be particularly noisy.



Another way to look at it herhaps if say in 14-15 years when your child is taking exams and needs to do research etc at the library but is not doing well and failing because she cannot concentrate there due to a noisy child how would you feel?



Sorry just my take on it.

Answer 11

yes it could be rude. i would scope out the library and take the child when there seems to be fewer people or when there is more children. those who are particular about reading in quite will be less likely to go to the library if children are expected to be there. also our library has events for children ask the librarian if/ when there will be children events and schedule your library time for those dates/times



good luck



i read through the comments and as a mother w/a particularly loud child (who loves to read/and deserves to explore reading) i have found ways of taking her w/out interrupting others. most libraries (especially when school is out for the summer) have programs for children and young children as well. don't avoid the library b/c of others simply avoid the times in which it is less appropriate. i found library visits to be a wonderful tool for beginning reading. it helps my daughter to appreciate books as well as encourages her to read more often. the library is a public place and publicly funded, which allows them to be able to have programs for all needs (even needs for the youngest readers). don't let these post discourage you. simply talk to a librarian or visit your libraries website. i'm not at all suggesting you disturb others i'm just pointing out that it is public use and most likely will be able to cater to noisy children

Answer 12

I think if you go on a weekday morning, it's to be expected. Just take her to the kid's section and do your best. If you know what books you want ahead of time, call the library and reserve them so you can just go to the counter and pick them up. Most libraries now have a website that you can find the books you're looking for and reserve them.

Answer 13

Yes it is. Libraries are a place of quiet, often people are studying or use it as a place they can go to for quiet and reflection.



Take your baby to a book store, often you can find a comfy chair and read some, and it is a public place that is not necessarily known for it's quiet.

Answer 14

Sorry but yes. I just started going back for story time with my 2 almost 3 year old. We pick out a book for me to read while the volunteer reads books to the lil kids. Before that i just waited until sat when her daddy could watch her or if my mom or sister offered to give me a hand.

Answer 15

Do they have a children's section? Our local library has the children's books downstairs and they have no rule about not talking down there. If your library is similiar, you could take your books to the kids section and read while your child plays.

Answer 16

Yes and no.



I avoided all places that required quiet behavior when my son was newborn through about age 2. After that, when he could understand direction, I started taking him to orchestral and choral concerts (his dad performs), libraries, bookstores, etc.



If your child doesn't understand to be more quiet, I guess I'd avoid it until she comprehends. It's just polite. No, you shouldn't be banned from places because of her (I definitely felt that way too!), but it helps when they are old enough to know the "rules" and such.

Answer 17

Yes it is rude. Libraries are meant to be a quiet place to read and study. There is nothing more distracting than babies, people who talk loud or yell.

Answer 18

I personally don't mind when there's loud kids at quiet places, but I think most people do. Maybe ask a friend or babysitter to help out? You deserve to go if you want to

Answer 19

Not rude. Children's noise is tolerated in the children's section. Also, children are as welcome as anyone else in the library. Since you know she makes noise, make your library trips quick. And don't worry about questioning looks from people. Good for you for making your child comfortable with the library - she'll grow up to be a reader.

Answer 20

Well, you may find some people are annoyed, but how will she learn to be quiet if you don't take her. A suggestion would be to take her during the time of day there are the least guests in the library. I personally would not consider it rude.

Answer 21

Of course it's rude to take her! You know library's are supposed to be quiet!!! Just like it's rude to take her to the movies!! Hire a babysitter like the rest of us!!

Answer 22

Definitely.

Answer 23

It's rude to take her if you're not going to sit in the children's area with her. Try taking her during her nap time. She can sleep in the stroller and you can get your books.

Answer 24

no i don't think it's rude to take her. spend some time in the children's section first so that the excitement of being there wears off a bit, then maybe give her a drink or a snack to keep her busy while you go into the adult section!

Answer 25

Yes, it IS rude to take her with you. Perhaps you can go during a toddler hour when they provide entertainment and quickly check out your books then.

Answer 26

No, I have the same problem except my kids are 5 and 3. They want to run around and I feel bad because I tell them to be quite but they are young and don't know better. If you can take her to the kids section and do what you want to do there that would be better.

Answer 27

It is, sorry. People go to the library so that they can quietly read or study.

Answer 28

yeah i do... i understand you have to take her, but the library is like the one place where people go to have peace and quiet.

Answer 29

Absolutely, it is, though through no fault of your daughters, she's just a baby. The echo of her own voice probably fascinates her.

Answer 30

ssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! yes it is .. check out a book and go outside .. nothing worse than trying to read/study in peace and someone is yelling/talking or even worse a parent who doesn’t care about proper etiquette regarding children .. let me guess ya take her to the movie theater too??

Answer 31

Yes.

Answer 32

I would say it is more inconsiderate than rude.

Answer 33

I try not to, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.



Ask yourself, will sacrificing these stranger's sanity for half an hour save mine for a few more days?



Try taking a few lollipops. Stick them in your purse and pull them out when she gets loud, it might help.



Good luck sweetie, you're doing a great job!





*The person who says to hire a babysitter "like the rest of us" is clearly not like "the rest of us" in my mind.

First of all, I don't leave my children with people. I don't just willy nilly hire babysitters and not everyone has grandparents just sitting in rocking chairs with arms aching to hold a baby while we go do our thing. Secondly, not everyone has money to hire babysitters. ~sighs~



Sweetheart, go to the library. So many parents don't care what their children do. It is clear you are not like them. You CARE for your child, just do what you have to do. Perhaps you could look online and find your book ahead of time, call the library and have them hold it for you and then just go in and pick it up.



People who tell you flat out not to go just don't understand. Of COURSE we hate to be a disruption, but sometimes it is either get out of the darn house or lose your mind. If anyone gives you dirty looks, curse them with colicky babies. :)

Answer 34

yes it is but I find it refreshing that you have enough consideration for others to ask

Answer 35

of course it is rude and as a mother you know this already i wounder why you would even ask this question????

Answer 36

Hell Yeah!!

Answer 37

YES! ~