Puzzles. A source of stress.?

Question

My son is currently in the midst of a heavy whining phase (will turn 3 in July). He also currently discovered puzzles and now wants to play them all the time. While he is doing the puzzle he whines constantly: he can't find the right piece, the piece he wants won't fit where he wants it, etc. Eventually he gets it done and is thrilled with himself, as are we. My husband has the patience to deal with these constant bouts of whining that I know are normal and just par for the course. I, on the other hand, do not. I hear it every minute of the day that he is home. So when we sit down to play puzzles I am already frazzled. He starts whining about the process and my heart drops into my stomach.

So here is my idea. I want to make puzzles something he does with his Dad, like special puzzle time that he has with him every night but I also want to share in his joy in a way that I can handle.

When he asks me for a puzzle I will sit down and do one puzzle then take him outside or to the park. I can handle one puzzle. I can't handle the whining involved with two or three. So maybe after one puzzle I can find a different activity for just he and I to do that he will enjoy just as much as puzzles. He loves walks. I'll play a puzzle, offer a walk then tell him when he, inevitably, asks for another that he will have his special puzzle time with Dad that night and move on to something else.

Any other ideas?

Answer 1

Teaching him not to whine would be the best way to go...not easy but it is worth it. You could start with the puzzles. My daughter had a puzzle issue also. She LOVED doing them but would FREAK OUT if a piece didn't fit. So...if you start doing a puzzle with him and he starts whining....stop!!! make him look at you and say...do you want to do this puzzle with me? YES...OK, no more whining. IF you need help, use your big boy voice and say...Mommy, I need help. Ok...yes. If he whines again..say...no more whining, ask in a big boy vioce, If you whine again I will have to put the puzzle away. When he whines again(it will take a few tries) say...I am putting the puzzle away because you whined again. we can try again tomorrow. FREAK OUT...but, he will be learning a lesson. The next day, ask him if he wants to do a puzzle and remind/ask him...what will happen If you whine? You will put the puzzle away. Yes so, if you need help just aks like a big boy. It may take a few days or a week but I think it will work IF you give 2 chances and put the puzzle away if he whines, and remind him when you start what will happen if he does whine.



If you can get him to do a puzzle without whining...you can reward him(or not) and get him a new puzzle. Then start working on the other whining times. You can use the puzzle success and move on. Sounds like you like to be outside...do a puzzle with him outside! it may help you be less stressed, it will be a new "place" for both of you to do a puzzle.



Whining is so hard to deal with, you or your husband shouldn't be dealing with it, try (i know it is hard) and stop it. Make your husband follow the same rules...no whining while doing puzzles or we wil have to put it away and try again tomorrow.(or later) Start by all three of you doing a puzzle and follow the no whining rule. then when and if you have to take it away, you can go for a walk and daddy can deal with the fit...lol. Whining is very normal at this age, if you allow it to continue it will, if you stop it, no more whining.

Answer 2

I absolutely hate whining and I don't put up with it. When my daughter does an activity and starts to whine I ignore her. I tell her I will not help her until she uses big girl words. After a while she will cave in and ask like a human being lol. My daughter loves puzzles too, but does them mostly on her own. If she needs help I encourage her to use words to express what she needs. I have a rule list on the fridge at my house and No Whining is #1 lol! If the whining doesn't stop I tell her to go to her room and not to come out until she's ready to talk like a big girl.

Answer 3

Your son will continue to whine when he is stressed unless he is taught to do otherwise. You could try telling him you will only do a second puzzle with him if he can get through the first one without the whining...then be ready to back that up. Also, when he whines a request ask him, "Can you ask for help without whining? I'll help you if you don't whine." Trust me, if behavior like this isn't stopped now it will stay with him into adulthood.