How can I discipline my 2 year old that pushes , hits , and tackles?

Question

I have a 2 year old ( almost 2 1/2 ) ... He can be very sweet at times kisses , hugs , sharing etc... When we take him around other children he wants to wrestle , push , hit , tackle , and take toys :/ . When ever he hits ppl or us, my husband and I are usually very consistent with timeouts. This does not seem to be working . We also make him apologize , give a hug or kiss , and explain to him that was not nice . We do not wrestle with him at all . Every week we take him to church and this week we did not get a a good report. They suggested that we stay in the room with him because of all his tactics and he was making the other kids in the room upset ( when he would hit etc... ) . I am getting so frustrated with him and I just don't know what to do anymore . At times he can be great with other children , but more times than not he is very very aggressive . Any thoughts or suggestions would greatly help. Thanks !

Answer 1

First off, I don't know why JulieO received a Thumbs Down because she is on the right track. Your child has to understand WHY he is not allowed to push, hit and tackle. Simply giving 'time out ' if he does not understand why, is not enough.



Next time you see him do something inappropriate tell him why it is not allowed and how it makes the receiver of that 'inappropriate behaviour' feel. Tell him he does not like to be treated that way, so that means that he then should not should treat other people that way.



It would be a good idea though, to consider WHY he is hitting out at others - he may want to always play on his own. Does he prefer to play on his own ? Are you happy with him wanting to always play on his own and his feeling that others are getting in his personal space ?



Having too many people around him may be too much stimulation for him at one time. Does he have any other hypersensitivities ?

Answer 2

My son went through/still going through some days the same thing. We do the same stuff like time out apology kiss and hug. We also do not wrestle or rough house with our son he is 2 almost 2.5 One thing I tried one day that seems to really have cut back is he hit me and so I pretended to cry and be really hurt. When he saw how upset I was he said sorry on his own and gave me a kiss. so I know he knows it is wrong to do. But then I talked to him and explained how much it hurts to get hit and how he shouldnt do it. Ive done this many times to get him out of it. But be consistent and it will eventually stop. My son has some aggressive days but most are good. I think it just takes time. They are still young and learning all the consequences of their actions.

Answer 3

First off, when you make him apologize, stop the hugging & kissing bit, that will only add to your boundary issue problems. A good book to read together is "Hands Are Not for Hitting" Try parrallel playing to see if "me too/ I want" is part of the problem. Also check to see if he's getting a sugary snack at church

Answer 4

If he is watching t.v. he may be picking it up from that. He may also pick it up from other children if he is in any type of day care.



Try a sticker chart every day he goes with no hits/tackles/pushes/ he gets a sticker after so many sticker he can collect a prize. This also lets him see and track improvement. Children this age tend to be visual learners so that may help.

Answer 5

Time outs only focus on that he has done something wrong, they don't teach him what to instead.



1. Positive parenting starts by creating a good relationship with your child, so that he responds to gentle guidance as opposed to threats and punishment. The most effective discipline strategy is having a close bond with your child. Kids who feel connected to their parents naturally want to please them.



2. Evaluate all teaching based on whether it strengthens or weakens your relationship with your child. Think Loving Guidance, not punishment. Punishment is destructive to your relationship with your child and ultimately creates more misbehavior. Loving guidance is setting limits and reinforcing expectations as necessary, but in an empathic way that helps the child focus on improving her behavior rather than on being angry at you.



3. Start all correction by reaffirming the connection. Remember that children misbehave when they feel bad about themselves and disconnected from us.



Stoop down to her level and look her in the eye: "You are mad but no biting!"

Pick her up: "You wish you could play longer but it's time for bed."

Make loving eye contact: "You are so upset right now."

Put your hand on her shoulder: "You're scared to tell me about the cookie."





4. Don't hesitate to set limits as necessary, but set them with empathy. Of course you need to enforce your rules. But you can also acknowledge her perspective. When kids feel understood, they're more able to accept our limits.



"You’re very very mad and hurt, but we don’t bite. Let’s use your words to tell your brother how you feel."

"You wish you could play longer, but it's bedtime. I know that makes you sad."

"You don't want Mommy to say No, but the answer is No. We don't say 'Shut Up' to each other, but it's ok to be sad and mad."

"You are scared, but we always tell the truth to each other."

Answer 6

time outs, lectures, the stupid "we don't hit" or other spinless forms of parenting, just don't work!! look in your Bible- clearly states "spare the rod, you spoil the child" you are failing your child by not correcting him. your son is a child of God, don't let him act like an animal

Answer 7

i think what you are doing sounds perfect, the best thing you can do with it is to be very consistent. im sure with time the time outs will work, i trust in supernanny!

Answer 8

Do it the Mexican way hit him till he stops and cries. Looka at me I'm well raised