A question about my six year old boy...?

Question

My six year old spends a lot of time with a young babysitter and lately I've noticed him wanting to kiss full on the lips instead of his cheek etc.
I'm thinking perhaps he's seen this young girl (22 years old) kissing with her boyfriend and is just imitating them? Personally I quite don't know what to make of it or whether it's appropriate or not.
So I'm asking, what do you make of it and whether or not I should be concerned here?

Answer 1

Ask him why he wants to do it. Then you can judge better. I have a six-year old daughter who likes to do it to me. I just tell her it's not appropriate.

Answer 2

I have 2 boys and went thrue this for both, they are curious and yes they immitate however in their mind they are not doing anything wrong they are discovering their body and let them do it it is a normal process for kids. It is a way to show affection you will soon notice that he will say yukkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk for girls lol its a phase but once 8-9 he will say girls are this and that and will take a while before he will like girls, my oldest is 13 and still no interest in girls but was like that at 6 year old so no worries. However i would talk to the young babysitter and explain to her your concern and she can tell him to kiss her on the cheeks and explain why, she is the babysitter and should also educate him when he tries to do it, as well you but your son is showing affection to her.

Answer 3

That is really hard. As a parent you are always concerned about that kind of thing. Your six year old should be able to tell you why, or where he 1st saw it. Make it a game so he doesn't get defensive.

I would play a game with daddy and mommy and him called 1st time. "daddy when was the 1st time you ..." then start with things like:



Played baseball

Ate watermelon

Saw mommy (or daddy - short version!!)

Saw micky mouse

Saw ________ (add a friend or family name)

Saw someone hugging

Saw someone tickeling

Saw kissing on cheek

Saw kissing on the hand

Saw kissing on the forehead

Saw kissing on the lips...



THEN HERE IS THE KEY!!!!!! Keep playing the game!! Let him come up with "the 1st time" things to ask you throughout the game, and make sure it is ended with, "Wow that was a fun game, I really liked hearing all your answers, and you asked me and daddy some pretty good questions too. Should we play this again sometime?"



Hope this helps a little, my son is 4 and we have had to deal with some similar situations. it works as "when did you 1st hear..." too. We found out just who was talking the way our son started talking, and needless to say, he spends way less time with that person.



Good luck, and don't draw conclusions or worry yourself until there is proof of something to worry about. You will only drive yourself crazy.

Answer 4

I have a 7 year old boy. He went thru a LITTLE bit of that, but nothing like you are describing. I would be concerned if I was you. Children will follow what they see and hear. I have had somewhat of a similar situation and removed my son from the babysitters care. I just don't think it's appropriate for them to see things like that so young.



If the girl is supposed to be watching your son, why is she making out with her boyfriend? That would be my first question for her. Is he getting the attention and care he needs and deserves? Are you paying her for this service? If so, I would definately urge you to see if you can find an in-home daycare or even a center (usually more expensive) that will be comperable to what you are paying your babysitter.



I am certainly not trying to be mean. I actually run an in-home daycare and the kiddos I watch are so important to me! I hate to see another little one go thru a hard time like that! Good luck.

Answer 5

Do you mean he wants to kiss YOU on the lips? If so, be grateful. Before long he won't even want to be seen with you.

Don't make a big deal out of it. You might mention it to the sitter, ask if she's noticed the same thing. If she's just kissing her bf, that's ok, as long as they're not all-out necking. Kids need to see and experience expressions of affection.

When I was teaching, I had a sophomore, macho young man in my class who kissed his mom on the mouth routinely when saying goodbye, just a quick peck. My son, on the other hand would allow me to kiss him on the cheek provided he didn't have to bend down too far and no one was around to see.

Answer 6

I hate to say this because I could be totally wrong, but maybe he just has a crush on his babysitter. When I was babysitting one time........many years ago.......my charge (close to 6 I believe) walked right up to me while I was trying to put him to bed and kissed me on the lips. I didn't know what to do and was horrified.....afraid he would tell his parents & they would think I did something, etc. I didn't do ANYTHING to prompt it, but I do think he had a crush on me and I never babysat him again. With that said, if you are allowing your babysitter to bring her boyfriend over, you should put a stop to that immediately. If she insists on bringing a boyfriend over while babysitting, then get a new babysitter. It's just not appropriate. She may be a nice girl and wouldn't do anything inappropriate in front of your kids, but you never know. It's just not worth the risk.

Answer 7

I don't think it is anything to be alarmed of but I (personally) would talk to the babysitter about appropriate behavior when babysitting. Hopefully things can change a little. Now in days I feel kids are exposed to too much too soon. Hope that helps.

Answer 8

I would say something. Do you kiss him on the lips? Maybe it is just affection. Ask the boy if she kisses men in front of him. Tell the sitter in a non judgmental way that you want her to turn to her cheek and talk to you son. No big deal I woulnd't think.. but I would talk about it with your son and baby sitter... communication all around will elivate your worries

Answer 9

Definately be concerned. Not trying to scare you but what else is she doing that he could imitate? She may be just a babysitter but it's a job and she's being paid to take care of your son. Not to spend time smooching with her man in front of the kid. politely ask her to not do that in front of your son. If you are really concerned tell her the BF is not allowed over. It's your son and you have to raise him, you don't want him learning bad habits that can get him in trouble at school.

Answer 10

I don't think there's so alarming I agree with version of the crush,is very common little children have a crush in teachers or babysitter, You should talk with him, tell him is OK if he likes her but not appropriate act it out because she is older and he needs to respect her. Talk to her bout it too, so she know how to handle the situation.

Unless you are completely sure she is bringing boyfriend is very unfair that you point that out, but just to be sure talk to her about the rules in your home and that she can't bring other people while you are absent.

Answer 11

It's a good concern. I would just ask the babysitter that if she wants to kiss her boyfriend to not do it in front of your son. Just explain to her why and you would appreciate that the affection be shown away from your son.

Answer 12

Some people kiss kids full on the lips, some don't. My hubby kisses our son full on the lips, in my family we are cheek kissers and full lip kisses from a kid kinda bugs me (they are so slobbery *lol*) Which is funny because my family hugs and hubby's doesn't.



Anyway you might find she kisses him on the lips. Or it could just be something he has started doing for no reason.



If you think she has her boyfriend over AND you don't approve then talk to her. But I don't think it is a big deal.

Answer 13

I understand your despair that debunking God is stuck at that very low level of a six year old. There seem to be many who have been unable to progress any further than the level of a six year old.

Answer 14

My five year old started going through that stage. I think he picked it up from my husband and I kissing *blush*. Your son could have seen you kissing like that, or the baby-sitting. Either way I wouldn't worry too much, (unless he has a cold to pass on). Just enjoy those little kisses!!

Answer 15

When my children were really small, and I used a baby sitter, I always let her know she was NOT allowed to have any friends there at the same time. She would be the only one there besides my children.

Tell her she's not allowed to have ANY friends over when she's baby sitting your child. If the baby sitting is being done at her place - then make sure she knows your concern about this. I'm sure her boy friend will be understanding enough to abide by the rules.

Answer 16

I would just keep an eye on things and go from there. You might want to ask your babysitter not to kiss her boyfriend around your son. Explain it to her so she's not offended.

Answer 17

If he is seeing his babysitter doing it, it is just imitating,,my granddaughter gets a kick out of wanting to do that and says this is how mommy kisses Jose....she's 5...I wouldn't worry right now, he's still little.

Answer 18

he's six so he could have seen someone in school doing it or on TV. It could be anything. If you're concerned (which obviously you are or you wouldn't be asking this question) then you should ask the baby sitter. Or ask him he is old enough to tell you where he learned it from.

Answer 19

I guess both my wife and I are lip kissers with our 17 month old twin daughters. One of my twin daughers has learned how to kiss, and the other is shy about it. I would certainly ask your son why he wants to do that if it's not something you taught him or approve of.

Answer 20

he is six, ask him why he is doing it, he can tell you best